Citizen Charlie
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  • 2021 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • French Exit
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Judas and the Black Messiah
    • 3 Stars >
      • Bliss
      • Land
      • Malcolm & Marie
      • The Mauritanian
      • The United States vs. Billie Holiday
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • The Little Things
    • 2 Stars >
      • Supernova
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Marksman
      • Silk Road
    • 1 Star >
      • Outside the Wire
  • Cinema Clash Podcast
  • 2020 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Outpost
      • Promising Young Woman
      • The Vast of Night
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • The Assistant
      • The Burnt Orange Heresy
      • The Climb
      • Da 5 Bloods
      • Extra Ordinary
      • First Cow
      • The Gentlemen
      • The Hunt
      • I'm Thinking of Ending Things
      • John Lewis: Good Trouble
      • Never Rarely Sometimes Always
      • One Night in Miami
      • Sound of Metal
    • 3 Stars >
      • Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
      • Chemical Hearts
      • Deerskin
      • EMMA.
      • Kajillionaire
      • The Midnight Sky
      • News of the World
      • The Old Guard
      • Olympic Dreams
      • Premature
      • The Prom
      • The Social Dilemma
      • Sputnik
      • The Trip to Greece
      • The Twentieth Century
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Bill & Ted Face the Music
      • Enola Holmes
      • Herself
      • How to Build a Girl
      • Tesla
      • True History of the Kelly Gang
      • Vivarium
      • We Are Little Zombies
      • The White Tiger
    • 2 Stars >
      • Blow the Man Down
      • Come Away
      • Come Play
      • Greed
      • Greenland
      • Irresistible
      • Let Him Go
      • Lucky Grandma
      • My Spy
      • Project Power
      • Radioactive
      • The Rhythm Section
      • Save Yourselves!
      • The Traitor (Il Traditore)
      • Wild Mountain Thyme
      • Yes, God, Yes
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Bad Boys for Life
      • Butt Boy
      • The High Note
      • Selah and the Spades
      • Underwater
      • The War with Grandpa
      • Wonder Woman 1984
    • 1 Star >
      • Honest Thief
  • 2019 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • 1917
      • A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
      • For Sama
      • Jojo Rabbit
      • Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Alita: Battle Angel
      • Blinded by the Light
      • Booksmart
      • John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
      • Joker
      • Knives Out
      • Midnight Traveler
      • Mike Wallace Is Here
      • Transit
      • Waves
      • Wild Nights with Emily
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ash is the Purest White
      • Avengers: Endgame
      • Bombshell
      • Brittany Runs A Marathon
      • Captain Marvel
      • The Dead Don't Die
      • Frozen II
      • Gloria Bell
      • Good Boys
      • The Hummingbird Project
      • The Kid Who Would Be King
      • Knock Down the House
      • Meeting Gorbachev
      • Queen & Slim
      • Ready or Not
      • The Report
      • Rocketman
      • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
      • Teen Spirit
      • Us
      • Velvet Buzzsaw
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • All Is True
      • Charlie's Angels
      • Downton Abbey
      • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
      • Hustlers
      • It Chapter Two
      • The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
      • The Lion King
      • Long Day's Journey Into Night
      • Non-Fiction
      • Official Secrets
      • The Peanut Butter Falcon
      • Richard Jewell
      • Shazam!
      • Stan & Ollie
      • Uncut Gems
      • The Upside
      • Where's My Roy Cohn?
      • Wonder Park
      • Yesterday
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Art of Racing in the Rain
      • Dark Phoenix
      • Dora and the Lost City of Gold
      • Frankie
      • Glass
      • Isn't It Romantic
      • Midway
      • Red Joan
      • Spider-Man: Far From Home
      • What Men Want
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Aeronauts
      • Angel Has Fallen
      • Dumbo
      • Gemini Man
      • The Goldfinch
      • The Kitchen
      • Pokémon Detective Pikachu
      • Serenity
      • Terminator: Dark Fate
    • 1 Star >
      • Men in Black: International
      • Miss Bala
      • Stuber
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Happy Death Day 2U
  • 2018 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
      • Burning
      • The Death of Stalin
      • The Favourite
      • Isle of Dogs
      • The King
      • Roma
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Animals
      • Avengers: Infinity War
      • Blaze
      • Boy Erased
      • Eighth Grade
      • The Endless
      • First Man
      • Green Book
      • Hostiles
      • The Insult
      • Mom and Dad
      • Puzzle
      • RBG
      • Ready Player One
      • Skate Kitchen
      • Sorry to Bother You
      • A Star Is Born
      • Vox Lux
    • 3 Stars >
      • Annihilation
      • Black Panther
      • Bumblebee
      • Deadpool 2
      • Eating Animals
      • Flower
      • Godard Mon Amour
      • The House with a Clock in Its Walls
      • Journey's End
      • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
      • Mission: Impossible - Fallout
      • Paddington 2
      • The Price of Everything
      • Red Sparrow
      • The Rider
      • The Seagull
      • Support the Girls
      • Venom
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Aquaman
      • Bohemian Rhapsody
      • Creed II
      • Game Night
      • The Gospel According to André
      • Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
      • Mary Poppins Returns
      • Mile 22
      • Operation Finale
      • The Party
      • Peter Rabbit
      • Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood
      • Sicario: Day of the Soldado
      • A Simple Favor
      • Solo: A Star Wars Story
      • The Spy Who Dumped Me
      • Wildlife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Ant-Man and the Wasp
      • Ben Is Back
      • Blockers
      • Book Club
      • Christopher Robin
      • Damsel
      • Death Wish
      • Early Man
      • The Equalizer 2
      • Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
      • Generation Wealth
      • Halloween
      • Measure of a Man
      • The Meg
      • A Midsummer Night's Dream
      • Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
      • Ocean's 8
      • Peppermint
      • Tomb Raider
      • A Wrinkle in Time
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Commuter
      • Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings
      • Fifty Shades Freed
      • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
      • Maze Runner: The Death Cure
      • The Predator
    • 1 Star >
      • Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti
      • The Happytime Murders
      • Night School
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Born Guilty
      • Kin
      • Show Dogs
  • 2017 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Blade Runner 2049
      • Dunkirk
      • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
      • Wind River
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Columbus
      • Detroit
      • Donald Cried
      • Faces Places (Visages, villages)
      • Frantz
      • Get Out
      • I, Tonya
      • An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power
      • It
      • Okja
      • The Shape of Water
      • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
    • 3 Stars >
      • Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
      • Atomic Blonde
      • Baby Driver
      • The Big Sick
      • Cars 3
      • The Fencer
      • Finding Oscar
      • The Florida Project
      • Girls Trip
      • The Greatest Showman
      • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
      • Jeremiah Tower: The Last Magnificent
      • The LEGO Batman Movie
      • Logan Lucky
      • Marshall
      • Novitiate
      • Personal Shopper
      • RAW
      • School Life
      • Split
      • Star Wars: The Last Jedi
      • Thelma
      • Thor: Ragnarok
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Battle of the Sexes
      • The Boss Baby
      • Breathe
      • A Cure for Wellness
      • Dolores
      • Ferdinand
      • The Great Wall
      • John Wick Chapter 2
      • Justice League
      • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
      • Lady Bird
      • Landline
      • Last Flag Flying
      • Rebel in the Rye
      • Victoria and Abdul
      • Wonder Woman
      • The Zookeeper's Wife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Beauty and the Beast
      • The Dark Tower
      • A Dog's Purpose
      • Gifted
      • Gold
      • Home Again
      • Ingrid Goes West
      • The Last Word
      • Leap!
      • Logan
      • The Lost City of Z
      • The Mummy
      • Paris Can Wait
      • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
      • Rock Dog
      • Song to Song
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Before I Fall
      • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
      • The Dinner
      • Everything, Everything
      • The Fate of the Furious
      • Fifty Shades Darker
      • Happy Death Day
      • It Comes at Night
      • Snatched
      • Suburbicon
      • Wish Upon
    • 1 Star >
      • Rings
      • The Space Between Us
      • xXx: Return of Xander Cage
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Buster's Mal Heart
  • 2016 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Captain Fantastic
      • Hell or High Water
      • I Am Not Your Negro
      • Jackie
      • Krisha
      • La La Land
      • A Monster Calls
      • Paterson
      • Silence
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • The Accountant
      • Cameraperson
      • Deadpool
      • Embrace of the Serpent
      • Finding Dory
      • Hail, Caesar!
      • Miss Sloane
      • Moonlight
      • Nocturnal Animals
      • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
    • 3 Stars >
      • Allied
      • Arrival
      • Author: The JT LeRoy Story
      • The Birth of a Nation
      • The Conjuring 2
      • Creative Control
      • Doctor Strange
      • The Eagle Huntress
      • The Edge of Seventeen
      • Eye in the Sky
      • The First Monday in May
      • Green Room
      • Hacksaw Ridge
      • Ixcanul
      • The Jungle Book
      • Keanu
      • Live by Night
      • Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World
      • The Magnificent Seven
      • Miles Ahead
      • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
      • A Monster with a Thousand Heads
      • The Nice Guys
      • Passengers
      • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
      • Star Trek Beyond
      • Sully
      • War Dogs
      • Wiener-Dog
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Café Society
      • Captain America: Civil War
      • Christine
      • The Clan
      • Deepwater Horizon
      • Eddie the Eagle
      • Equals
      • The Girl on the Train
      • High-Rise
      • The Infiltrator
      • Knight of Cups
      • Kubo and the Two Strings
      • Lion
      • Little Men
      • London Has Fallen
      • Louder Than Bombs
      • Morris from America
      • Pete's Dragon
      • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
      • Queen of Katwe
      • Race
      • Southside With You
      • Storks
      • Sunset Song
      • Trolls
      • Warcraft
      • Zootopia
    • 2 Stars >
      • Alice Through the Looking Glass
      • American Pastoral
      • Bad Moms
      • The BFG
      • Blair Witch
      • The Choice
      • Dough
      • Everybody Wants Some!!
      • The Finest Hours
      • The Legend of Tarzan
      • The Light Between Oceans
      • The Secret Life of Pets
      • Suicide Squad
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The 5th Wave
      • Allegiant
      • Angry Birds
      • Bad Santa 2
      • The Boss
      • Central Intelligence
      • Ghostbusters
      • How to Be Single
      • The Huntsman: Winter's War
      • Ip Man 3
      • Zoolander 2
    • 1 Star >
      • Gods of Egypt
      • Ice Age: Collision Course
      • My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
      • Now You See Me 2
      • Ratchet & Clank
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Ben-Hur
      • Norm of the North
      • Ride Along 2
  • 2015 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Big Short
      • Ex Machina
      • Jafar Panahi's Taxi
      • Steve Jobs
      • The Tribe
      • While We're Young
      • Youth
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Best of Enemies
      • Bridge of Spies
      • Brooklyn
      • Clouds of Sils Maria
      • Concussion
      • The End of the Tour
      • The Hateful Eight
      • Inside Out
      • It Follows
      • Mad Max: Fury Road
      • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
      • The Martian
      • Mistress America
      • The Revenant
      • Room
      • Shaun the Sheep Movie
      • Sisters
      • Spotlight
      • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
      • Straight Outta Compton
      • Truth
    • 3 Stars >
      • The Age of Adaline
      • Avengers: Age of Ultron
      • Black Mass
      • Carol
      • The Cut
      • Entourage
      • Fresh Dressed
      • The Good Dinosaur
      • Grandma
      • James White
      • Janis: Little Girl Blue
      • Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet
      • McFarland, USA
      • Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
      • Merchants of Doubt
      • MERU
      • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
      • Mustang
      • Pan
      • The Peanuts Movie
      • Pitch Perfect 2
      • Pixels
      • San Andreas
      • The Second Mother
      • Son of Saul
      • Spectre
      • Trainwreck
      • We Are Your Friends
      • Woman in Gold
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • American Ultra
      • Anomalisa
      • Ant-Man
      • The Assassin
      • The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution
      • Boulevard
      • Crimson Peak
      • The Danish Girl
      • Far from the Madding Crowd
      • Finders Keepers
      • Furious 7
      • The Gunman
      • Hippocrates: Diary of a French Doctor
      • In the Heart of the Sea
      • Jurassic World
      • Kingsman: The Secret Service
      • Listen to Me Marlon
      • Macbeth
      • The New Rijksmuseum
      • No Escape
      • Spy
      • The Visit
      • A Walk in the Woods
      • The Water Diviner
      • The Wolfpack
    • 2 Stars >
      • The 33
      • Aloft
      • Black Sea
      • Do I Sound Gay?
      • Fifty Shades of Grey
      • Focus
      • Freeheld
      • Get Hard
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2
      • Joy
      • Minions
      • Mississippi Grind
      • The Night Before
      • The Salvation
      • The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
      • Seventh Son
      • Terminator Genisys
      • Tomorrowland
      • True Story
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Chappie
      • Desert Dancer
      • Hot Tub Time Machine 2
      • The Divergent Series: Insurgent
      • Jupiter Ascending
      • Maggie
      • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
      • Run All Night
      • Ted 2
      • Vacation
    • 1 Star >
      • The Lazarus Effect
      • Magic Mike XXL
      • The Transporter Refueled
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • The Gallows
  • 2014 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Calvary
      • A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
      • Inherent Vice
      • The LEGO Movie
      • Life Itself
      • A Most Violent Year
      • Mr. Turner
      • The Theory of Everything
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Sniper
      • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
      • The Boxtrolls
      • Boyhood
      • The Equalizer
      • Fury
      • Gone Girl
      • Guardians of the Galaxy
      • The Imitation Game
      • Like Father, Like Son
      • Mommy
      • Nymphomaniac: Vol. I
      • Particle Fever
      • Selma
      • Top Five
      • Whiplash
    • 3 Stars >
      • 22 Jump Street
      • Alive Inside
      • Beside Still Waters
      • The Book of Life
      • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
      • The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: THEM
      • Draft Day
      • Edge of Tomorrow
      • Get on Up
      • Godzilla
      • The Grand Budapest Hotel
      • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
      • I Am Ali
      • The Judge
      • Kill the Messenger
      • Locke
      • Love Is Strange
      • Nas: Time Is Illmatic
      • Night Moves
      • The November Man
      • The One I Love
      • The Overnighters
      • The Raid 2
      • Rosewater
      • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
      • St. Vincent
      • Still Alice
      • Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
      • Two Days, One Night
      • Unbroken
      • Under the Skin
      • Wild
      • X-Men: Days of Future Past
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • 3 Days to Kill
      • About Last Night
      • Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
      • Art and Craft
      • As Above, So Below
      • Begin Again
      • Blood Ties
      • Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
      • Divergent
      • The Expendables 3
      • Fading Gigolo
      • Foxcatcher
      • The Giver
      • The Grand Seduction
      • Horns
      • Horrible Bosses 2
      • The Hundred-Foot Journey
      • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
      • Jersey Boys
      • Listen Up Philip
      • Magic in the Moonlight
      • The Maze Runner
      • Men, Women & Children
      • A Million Ways to Die in the West
      • The Monuments Men
      • Mr. Peabody & Sherman
      • Muppets Most Wanted
      • Need for Speed
      • Non-Stop
      • Point and Shoot
      • RoboCop
      • Tracks
      • Transcendence
      • Veronica Mars
      • Winter's Tale
    • 2 Stars >
      • 300: Rise of an Empire
      • Alan Partridge
      • The Amazing Spider-Man 2
      • The Art of the Steal
      • Big Hero 6
      • Blended
      • Exodus: Gods and Kings
      • The French Minister
      • Hellion
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1
      • Into the Storm
      • Into the Woods
      • John Wick
      • Laggies
      • Land Ho!
      • A Long Way Down
      • Lucy
      • Maleficent
      • Neighbors
      • Noah
      • The Nut Job
      • Oculus
      • Rio 2
      • That Awkward Moment
      • What If
      • When the Game Stands Tall
      • Wish I Was Here
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Big Eyes
      • The Fault in Our Stars
      • I, Frankenstein
      • Pompeii
      • Transformers: Age of Extinction
    • 1 Star >
      • Brick Mansions
      • The Identical
      • Ride Along
      • Son of God
      • Tusk
      • Vampire Academy
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Left Behind
      • The Legend of Hercules
      • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
    • Zero Stars >
      • A Haunted House 2
  • 2013 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • 12 Years A Slave
      • Frances Ha
      • The Gatekeepers
      • Gravity
      • Her
      • Lone Survivor
      • Much Ado About Nothing
      • Stoker
      • We Steal Secrets: The Story of Wikileaks
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • All Is Lost
      • August: Osage County
      • Before Midnight
      • The Bling Ring
      • Captain Phillips
      • Fruitvale Station
      • God Loves Uganda
      • The Great Beauty
      • Inside Llewyn Davis
      • The Patience Stone
      • The Wolf of Wall Street
      • You're Next
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ain't Them Bodies Saints
      • American Hustle
      • The Company You Keep
      • Dead Man Down
      • Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay
      • Don Jon
      • The East
      • Ender's Game
      • The Great Gatsby
      • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
      • The Invisible Woman
      • Iron Man 3
      • Labor Day
      • LUV
      • Man of Steel
      • No
      • Oblivion
      • Pacific Rim
      • The Place Beyond the Pines
      • Saving Mr. Banks
      • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
      • Side Effects
      • Star Trek Into Darkness
      • Thanks for Sharing
      • Thor: The Dark World
      • Tim's Vermeer
      • Upside Down
      • Warm Bodies
      • World War Z
      • The World's End
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Beautiful Creatures
      • Beyond the Hills
      • The Book Thief
      • Carrie
      • Emperor
      • Fast & Furious 6
      • Gloria
      • The Iceman
      • In a World...
      • Love Is All You Need
      • Mama
      • Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
      • Nebraska
      • Oldboy
      • Olympus Has Fallen
      • Prisoners
      • The Reluctant Fundamentalist
      • Rush
      • Snitch
      • This Is the End
      • Trance
    • 2 Stars >
      • Byzantium
      • The Counselor
      • Disconnect
      • G.I. Joe: Retaliation
      • Gangster Squad
      • Grudge Match
      • Jack the Giant Slayer
      • Machete Kills
      • Now You See Me
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Drinking Buddies
      • The Family
      • Girl Most Likely
      • Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
      • The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
      • The Lone Ranger
      • Parker
    • 1 Star >
      • The Hangover Part III
      • A Haunted House
      • John Dies at the End
      • The Last Stand
      • Oz the Great and Powerful
      • Spring Breakers
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Escape from Tomorrow
      • Evil Dead
      • A Good Day to Die Hard
  • 2012 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Argo
      • Bernie
      • Cloud Atlas
      • Django Unchained
      • Lincoln
      • Take this Waltz
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 5 Broken Cameras
      • Amour
      • Arbitrage
      • Chronicle
      • Looper
      • Moonrise Kingdom
      • The Perks of Being a Wallflower
      • The Queen of Versailles
      • The Raid: Redemption
      • Skyfall
      • The Woman in the Fifth
    • 3 Stars >
      • Act of Valor
      • American Reunion
      • Anna Karenina
      • The Avengers
      • Beasts of the Southern Wild
      • Celeste & Jesse Forever
      • The Dark Knight Rises
      • Frankenweenie
      • Haywire
      • Hitchcock
      • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
      • The Master
      • Not Fade Away
      • Oslo, August 31st
      • The Other Dream Team
      • The Sessions
      • Seven Psychopaths
      • Silver Linings Playbook
      • Sleepwalk With Me
      • To Rome with Love
      • Your Sister's Sister
      • Zero Dark Thirty
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • The Amazing Spider-Man
      • Farewell, My Queen
      • The Hunger Games
      • The Oranges
      • Robot & Frank
      • Safe House
      • Safety Not Guaranteed
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Deep Blue Sea
      • Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
      • Taken 2
      • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Bourne Legacy
      • Damsels in Distress
      • Lockout
      • Underworld: Awakening
      • Wrath of the Titans
    • 1 Star >
      • 2 Days in New York
  • 2011 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Another Earth
      • The Artist
      • Hugo
      • Midnight in Paris
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 50/50
      • The Devil's Double
      • Drive
      • The Hedgehog
      • The Help
      • The Ides of March
      • J. Edgar
      • The Mill and the Cross
      • My Afternoons with Margueritte
      • My Week with Marilyn
      • Mysteries of Lisbon
      • The Skin I Live In
      • Super 8
      • Young Adult
    • 3 Stars >
      • Albert Nobbs
      • Anonymous
      • Attack the Block
      • Bellflower
      • Circumstance
      • Colombiana
      • The Future
      • Happy, Happy
      • Incendies
      • Jane Eyre
      • Limitless
      • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
      • Moneyball
      • The Names of Love
      • Page One: Inside the New York Times
      • Pianomania
      • Queen to Play
      • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
      • Senna
      • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
      • Tower Heist
      • The Trip
      • Undefeated
      • A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
      • The Way
      • The Whistleblower
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Captain America: The First Avenger
      • Conan O'Brien Can't Stop
      • Crazy, Stupid, Love
      • Griff the Invisible
      • The Guard
      • Hanna
      • The Interrupters
      • The Iron Lady
      • Killer Elite
      • Love Crime
      • The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby
      • Margin Call
      • The Tree of Life
      • The Turin Horse
    • 2 Stars >
      • Bad Teacher
      • Blackthorn
      • Cowboys & Aliens
      • The Debt
      • The Descendants
      • Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
      • The Double Hour
      • Higher Ground
      • Immortals
      • In Darkness
      • Shame
      • Take Shelter
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Brighton Rock
      • Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
      • Martha Marcy May Marlene
      • One Day
      • Priest
      • Restless
    • 1 Star >
      • The Three Musketeers
      • Toast
      • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • Misc...
    • 2020 AFI DOCs Film Festival
    • 2020 Academy Award Best Documentary Short Films
    • 2019 Middleburg Film Festival
    • 2019 AFI DOCS Film Festival
    • 2018 AFI DOCS Film Festival
    • 2017 Middleburg Film Festival
    • 2016 Middleburg Film Festival
  • Review Index
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xXx: Return of Xander Cage

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Directed by: D.J. Caruso
Written by: F. Scott Frazier - Based on the characters created by Rich Wilkes
Starring: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Nina Dobrev, Rory McCann, Toni Collette, Michael Bisping, Tony Gonzalez, Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube, Hermione Corfield, Neymar
Action/Adventure/Thriller - 107 min          Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 20 Jan 2017


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xXx: Return of Xander Cage is trying to capitalize on the baffling success of the Fast and Furious franchise.  Xander Cage and Dominic Toretto are mostly interchangeable; they are on repeat emphasizing the importance of family and your bros, and they growl most of their lines in deliberate, baritone syllables making sure they can pronounce the words correctly.  Just as he skipped the second Fast and Furious installment, Vin Diesel (Furious 7) also skipped the second xXx in 2005 when Ice Cube took over.  I understand why the studio had to churn out a xXx sequel 12 years ago; the first one accidentally became a blockbuster.  After xXx: State of the Union crashed and burned, we all thought the series was dead, and then just as the man digs up xXx in the film to come back and take on some bad guys only he can handle, xXx: Return of Xander Cage slithers out of B-movie purgatory inflicting untold forehead-slapping garbage upon the audience as xXx skis down jungle cliffs, chases a bad guy on a motorcycle morphing into a jet ski, and has time to chuckle, “I live for this” as he jumps out sans parachute of a C-17 plummeting to the ground.

The script for this derisive punchline is mind-blowing.  When xXx gets to pick his crew to retrieve some satellite crashing container hard drive thing, he picks a cool looking DJ, a cool looking sniper girl, and a cool looking former rugby player who loves crashing cars.  These characters are not from any previous xXx film; they are invented so they can try and ‘out cool’ each other acting unimpressed and nonchalant as they spit one-liners and eye roll everything.  The satellite crashing device is beside the point; it has the same personality as everybody else in the film, plastic and blank.  Also, rule of thumb, if your action movie starts in space, it probably does not understand space, orbits, and physics, so writers such as F. Scott Frazier should probably leave it alone.  The writers’s name is F. Scott Frazier?  That’s about as subtle as xXx’s favorite coat.

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The bad guys are a bit more interesting and that is only because it is refreshing to watch Donnie Yen (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) and Tony Jaa jump around and yell to escape Vin Diesel’s one note nonsense.  Toni Collette (The Boxtrolls) shows up as the CIA person in charge of something and probably has her fingers crossed nobody shows up to the theater to watch this thing.  Return of Xander Cage is the third pile of poop to ooze out of this franchise and it doesn’t even try anymore.  The first one attempted to take itself seriously.  xXx had to weigh the value of a girl’s life vs. the value of saving the many.  This time they just make up characters at a moment’s notice to squeeze them in if they need somebody standing around looking cool some more.

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Think I am being overly harsh here?  Should I just ‘accept if for what it is’ as I am often told to do when it comes to films people already know are awful but are specifically made for a niche audience?  I brought backup.  xXx tells a young boy, “The world is big, but it always fits in your heart.”  This comes after xXx valiantly steals some TV tower gizmo so the locals can watch free soccer.  He looks up with an amused grin and says, “The things I do for my country” when six scantily clad ladies close the tent flaps and appear to line up for xXx to satisfy them all at the same time.  If xXx throws someone out of a plane mid-flight, it’s, “Be sure to send a postcard!”  A high schooler in creative writing class would receive a failing grade for the exact same material.

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Director D.J. Caruso, who had a mild Shia LaBeouf crush with his films Disturbia and Eagle Eye, tacks on a last minute theme about the dangers of domestic surveillance shoved into a closing speech that is neither supported by the film we just watched or even responded to by another character.  Everybody is far too busy with looking cool and nodding in agreement that “X takes care of its own.”  Dominic Toretto would be so pissed caricature rip-offs blatantly steal his mantra.

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