Wish Upon
Directed by: John R. Leonetti
Written by: Barbara Marshall
Starring: Joey King, Ryan Phillippe, Ki Hong Lee, Mitchell Slaggert, Shannon Purser, Sydney Park, Elisabeth Röhm, Josephine Langford, Alexander Nunez, Daniela Barbosa, Kevin Hanchard, Sherilyn Fenn, Raegan Revord, Alice Lee, Victor Sutton
Fantasy/Horror/Thriller - 89 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 13 July 2017
Written by: Barbara Marshall
Starring: Joey King, Ryan Phillippe, Ki Hong Lee, Mitchell Slaggert, Shannon Purser, Sydney Park, Elisabeth Röhm, Josephine Langford, Alexander Nunez, Daniela Barbosa, Kevin Hanchard, Sherilyn Fenn, Raegan Revord, Alice Lee, Victor Sutton
Fantasy/Horror/Thriller - 89 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 13 July 2017
High school is tough. Molly Ringwald’s trials from the 1980s seem tame in comparison to today’s female protagonists. Hailee Steinfeld’s best friend starts dating her brother while she accidentally sexts the cute boy crush she has in The Edge of Seventeen. Zoey Deutch repeats the same Valentine’s Day over and over again learning how not to torture and torment those less popular than she in Before I Fall. In Wish Upon, Joey King takes far too long to realize every time she spouts a wish on her ancient Chinese wish box, somebody dies in a highly unpleasant manner. Kids these days. The execs behind Wish Upon will throw allusions to previous horror films at its intended audience such as “From the director of Annabelle” or even “From the director of photography of The Conjuring” to entice genre fans into theater seats. But make no mistake, Wish Upon is a lackluster imitation not only of ‘woe is me’ high school movies, but of forgettable, stale horror films as well.
Clare Shannon (King, Wish I Was Here) experiences one of the more unpleasant childhoods in film; she creeps up the attic stairs hesitantly calling out, “Mommy?” only to watch mom kick out the stool she was standing on and hang herself. For once, it was not the new house they move into or the evil spirits within the walls attacking them; rather, it is an inanimate object brought into the house with open arms. Even though the box’s instructions are written in ancient Chinese characters, even the most casual user who plunges into constructing Ikea furniture without looking at the pictures should notice whenever they speak a wish to the box, it not only comes true, but someone they know, be it a loved one or just met acquaintance who could solve plot mysteries, will die a most gruesome death.
Clare Shannon (King, Wish I Was Here) experiences one of the more unpleasant childhoods in film; she creeps up the attic stairs hesitantly calling out, “Mommy?” only to watch mom kick out the stool she was standing on and hang herself. For once, it was not the new house they move into or the evil spirits within the walls attacking them; rather, it is an inanimate object brought into the house with open arms. Even though the box’s instructions are written in ancient Chinese characters, even the most casual user who plunges into constructing Ikea furniture without looking at the pictures should notice whenever they speak a wish to the box, it not only comes true, but someone they know, be it a loved one or just met acquaintance who could solve plot mysteries, will die a most gruesome death.
Alas, Clare is not the brightest bulb in the box. Perhaps she is too scarred from her daily high school routine. Clare’s dad, Jonathan (Ryan Phillippe), does his daughter almost intentional harm by dumpster diving for ‘treasures’ right in front of school during prime arrival time. That is almost as cruel as anything the wish box does. Come on dad; if you are really going to plumb for scrap metal and discarded junk, even the most obtuse fathers know not to do it in front of your kid’s high school classmates. Jonathan comes across the wish box during one of these dumpster dives and thinks it will be a nice birthday present for Clare. The rest of us realize nobody is safe from this point forward because the camera zooms in on a gargoyle’s horrified face. Nothing good has ever happened after a screaming gargoyle close-up.
If you need further proof than the statue, check out the lighting. Reality is grim because everything we see is washed out. Director John R. Leonetti chose to douse the screen in wan light blues and greys; perhaps cinema's most depressing color combination. Leonetti is a long-time Hollywood cinematographer turned director and has the horror film bona fides to back up his involvement here. He filmed one of the most effective ‘make you check under your bed’ films in the last decade with The Conjuring. He then went on to direct its spin-off, Annabelle. To his credit and to Barbara Marshall’s script, Wish Upon does not steal from The Conjuring franchise. The story reminded me of “The Monkey’s Paw”. I never read the original W.W. Jacobs story, but I remember when a Tales From the Crypt episode attempted a version of it. The moral of the story is you'd better think through those wishes before you wish them. It is only a certain specimen of horror movie character who actually must be taught this as a lesson.
Yes, your wishes have unintended consequences. Clare’s wishes are high school wishes. She dreams of popularity and having the hottest guy in school fall madly in love with her. She learns her lesson when it turns out there are downsides to these things; in fact, there are consequences which Clare actually notices. We raise our eyebrows at how quickly Clare recovers from people she knows dying by bathtub and garbage disposal, but her old clique rolls their eyes once at Clare’s inexplicable popularity and inclusion at the cafeteria’s premiere lunch table and she thinks life will end as she knows it.
Clare is just always the last one to figure it out. Like most horror movie canines, the dog figures it out first as there are room thresholds he will not cross and most supporting characters clue in way before Clare finally thinks something may be askew after one too many bodies get speared by antlers in the face. The film arrives in theaters too quickly to be accused of theft, but if you see them both, you will notice the odd similarities between Wish Upon and Before I Fall. The high school problems, the hostile cafeterias, and the conclusions are eerily similar. I assume there are only so many directions these high school melodramas can go. Wish Upon should use one of those wishes on itself to make it into a horror film, because when it comes to classification, this is a sub-standard teenage drama; no scares here.
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