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  • 2019 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
      • For Sama
      • Jojo Rabbit
      • Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Alita: Battle Angel
      • Blinded by the Light
      • Booksmart
      • John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
      • Joker
      • Knives Out
      • Midnight Traveler
      • Mike Wallace Is Here
      • Transit
      • Waves
      • Wild Nights with Emily
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ash is the Purest White
      • Avengers: Endgame
      • Brittany Runs A Marathon
      • Captain Marvel
      • The Dead Don't Die
      • Frozen II
      • Gloria Bell
      • Good Boys
      • The Hummingbird Project
      • The Kid Who Would Be King
      • Knock Down the House
      • Meeting Gorbachev
      • Queen & Slim
      • Ready or Not
      • The Report
      • Rocketman
      • Teen Spirit
      • Us
      • Velvet Buzzsaw
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • All Is True
      • Charlie's Angels
      • Downton Abbey
      • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
      • Hustlers
      • It Chapter Two
      • The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
      • The Lion King
      • Long Day's Journey Into Night
      • Non-Fiction
      • Official Secrets
      • The Peanut Butter Falcon
      • Shazam!
      • Stan & Ollie
      • The Upside
      • Where's My Roy Cohn?
      • Wonder Park
      • Yesterday
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Art of Racing in the Rain
      • Dark Phoenix
      • Dora and the Lost City of Gold
      • Frankie
      • Glass
      • Isn't It Romantic
      • Midway
      • Red Joan
      • Spider-Man: Far From Home
      • What Men Want
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Aeronauts
      • Angel Has Fallen
      • Dumbo
      • Gemini Man
      • The Goldfinch
      • The Kitchen
      • Pokémon Detective Pikachu
      • Serenity
      • Terminator: Dark Fate
    • 1 Star >
      • Men in Black: International
      • Miss Bala
      • Stuber
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Happy Death Day 2U
  • Cinema Clash Podcast
  • 2018 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
      • Burning
      • The Death of Stalin
      • The Favourite
      • Isle of Dogs
      • The King
      • Roma
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Animals
      • Avengers: Infinity War
      • Blaze
      • Boy Erased
      • Eighth Grade
      • The Endless
      • First Man
      • Green Book
      • Hostiles
      • The Insult
      • Mom and Dad
      • Puzzle
      • RBG
      • Ready Player One
      • Skate Kitchen
      • Sorry to Bother You
      • A Star Is Born
      • Vox Lux
    • 3 Stars >
      • Annihilation
      • Black Panther
      • Bumblebee
      • Deadpool 2
      • Eating Animals
      • Flower
      • Godard Mon Amour
      • The House with a Clock in Its Walls
      • Journey's End
      • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
      • Mission: Impossible - Fallout
      • Paddington 2
      • The Price of Everything
      • Red Sparrow
      • The Rider
      • The Seagull
      • Support the Girls
      • Venom
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Aquaman
      • Bohemian Rhapsody
      • Creed II
      • Game Night
      • The Gospel According to André
      • Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
      • Mary Poppins Returns
      • Mile 22
      • Operation Finale
      • The Party
      • Peter Rabbit
      • Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood
      • Sicario: Day of the Soldado
      • A Simple Favor
      • Solo: A Star Wars Story
      • The Spy Who Dumped Me
      • Wildlife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Ant-Man and the Wasp
      • Ben Is Back
      • Blockers
      • Book Club
      • Christopher Robin
      • Damsel
      • Death Wish
      • Early Man
      • The Equalizer 2
      • Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
      • Generation Wealth
      • Halloween
      • Measure of a Man
      • The Meg
      • A Midsummer Night's Dream
      • Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
      • Ocean's 8
      • Peppermint
      • Tomb Raider
      • A Wrinkle in Time
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Commuter
      • Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings
      • Fifty Shades Freed
      • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
      • Maze Runner: The Death Cure
      • The Predator
    • 1 Star >
      • Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti
      • The Happytime Murders
      • Night School
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Born Guilty
      • Kin
      • Show Dogs
  • 2017 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Blade Runner 2049
      • Dunkirk
      • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
      • Wind River
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Columbus
      • Detroit
      • Donald Cried
      • Faces Places (Visages, villages)
      • Frantz
      • Get Out
      • I, Tonya
      • An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power
      • It
      • Okja
      • The Shape of Water
      • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
    • 3 Stars >
      • Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
      • Atomic Blonde
      • Baby Driver
      • The Big Sick
      • Cars 3
      • The Fencer
      • Finding Oscar
      • The Florida Project
      • Girls Trip
      • The Greatest Showman
      • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
      • Jeremiah Tower: The Last Magnificent
      • The LEGO Batman Movie
      • Logan Lucky
      • Marshall
      • Novitiate
      • Personal Shopper
      • RAW
      • School Life
      • Split
      • Star Wars: The Last Jedi
      • Thelma
      • Thor: Ragnarok
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Battle of the Sexes
      • The Boss Baby
      • Breathe
      • A Cure for Wellness
      • Dolores
      • Ferdinand
      • The Great Wall
      • John Wick Chapter 2
      • Justice League
      • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
      • Lady Bird
      • Landline
      • Last Flag Flying
      • Rebel in the Rye
      • Victoria and Abdul
      • Wonder Woman
      • The Zookeeper's Wife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Beauty and the Beast
      • The Dark Tower
      • A Dog's Purpose
      • Gifted
      • Gold
      • Home Again
      • Ingrid Goes West
      • The Last Word
      • Leap!
      • Logan
      • The Lost City of Z
      • The Mummy
      • Paris Can Wait
      • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
      • Rock Dog
      • Song to Song
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Before I Fall
      • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
      • The Dinner
      • Everything, Everything
      • The Fate of the Furious
      • Fifty Shades Darker
      • Happy Death Day
      • It Comes at Night
      • Snatched
      • Suburbicon
      • Wish Upon
    • 1 Star >
      • Rings
      • The Space Between Us
      • xXx: Return of Xander Cage
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Buster's Mal Heart
  • 2016 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Captain Fantastic
      • Hell or High Water
      • I Am Not Your Negro
      • Jackie
      • Krisha
      • La La Land
      • A Monster Calls
      • Paterson
      • Silence
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • The Accountant
      • Cameraperson
      • Deadpool
      • Embrace of the Serpent
      • Finding Dory
      • Hail, Caesar!
      • Miss Sloane
      • Moonlight
      • Nocturnal Animals
      • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
    • 3 Stars >
      • Allied
      • Arrival
      • Author: The JT LeRoy Story
      • The Birth of a Nation
      • The Conjuring 2
      • Creative Control
      • Doctor Strange
      • The Eagle Huntress
      • The Edge of Seventeen
      • Eye in the Sky
      • The First Monday in May
      • Green Room
      • Hacksaw Ridge
      • Ixcanul
      • The Jungle Book
      • Keanu
      • Live by Night
      • Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World
      • The Magnificent Seven
      • Miles Ahead
      • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
      • A Monster with a Thousand Heads
      • The Nice Guys
      • Passengers
      • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
      • Star Trek Beyond
      • Sully
      • War Dogs
      • Wiener-Dog
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Café Society
      • Captain America: Civil War
      • Christine
      • The Clan
      • Deepwater Horizon
      • Eddie the Eagle
      • Equals
      • The Girl on the Train
      • High-Rise
      • The Infiltrator
      • Knight of Cups
      • Kubo and the Two Strings
      • Lion
      • Little Men
      • London Has Fallen
      • Louder Than Bombs
      • Morris from America
      • Pete's Dragon
      • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
      • Queen of Katwe
      • Race
      • Southside With You
      • Storks
      • Sunset Song
      • Trolls
      • Warcraft
      • Zootopia
    • 2 Stars >
      • Alice Through the Looking Glass
      • American Pastoral
      • Bad Moms
      • The BFG
      • Blair Witch
      • The Choice
      • Dough
      • Everybody Wants Some!!
      • The Finest Hours
      • The Legend of Tarzan
      • The Light Between Oceans
      • The Secret Life of Pets
      • Suicide Squad
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The 5th Wave
      • Allegiant
      • Angry Birds
      • Bad Santa 2
      • The Boss
      • Central Intelligence
      • Ghostbusters
      • How to Be Single
      • The Huntsman: Winter's War
      • Ip Man 3
      • Zoolander 2
    • 1 Star >
      • Gods of Egypt
      • Ice Age: Collision Course
      • My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
      • Now You See Me 2
      • Ratchet & Clank
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Ben-Hur
      • Norm of the North
      • Ride Along 2
  • 2015 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Big Short
      • Ex Machina
      • Jafar Panahi's Taxi
      • Steve Jobs
      • The Tribe
      • While We're Young
      • Youth
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Best of Enemies
      • Bridge of Spies
      • Brooklyn
      • Clouds of Sils Maria
      • Concussion
      • The End of the Tour
      • The Hateful Eight
      • Inside Out
      • It Follows
      • Mad Max: Fury Road
      • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
      • The Martian
      • Mistress America
      • The Revenant
      • Room
      • Shaun the Sheep Movie
      • Sisters
      • Spotlight
      • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
      • Straight Outta Compton
      • Truth
    • 3 Stars >
      • The Age of Adaline
      • Avengers: Age of Ultron
      • Black Mass
      • Carol
      • The Cut
      • Entourage
      • Fresh Dressed
      • The Good Dinosaur
      • Grandma
      • James White
      • Janis: Little Girl Blue
      • Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet
      • McFarland, USA
      • Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
      • Merchants of Doubt
      • MERU
      • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
      • Mustang
      • Pan
      • The Peanuts Movie
      • Pitch Perfect 2
      • Pixels
      • San Andreas
      • The Second Mother
      • Son of Saul
      • Spectre
      • Trainwreck
      • We Are Your Friends
      • Woman in Gold
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • American Ultra
      • Anomalisa
      • Ant-Man
      • The Assassin
      • The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution
      • Boulevard
      • Crimson Peak
      • The Danish Girl
      • Far from the Madding Crowd
      • Finders Keepers
      • Furious 7
      • The Gunman
      • Hippocrates: Diary of a French Doctor
      • In the Heart of the Sea
      • Jurassic World
      • Kingsman: The Secret Service
      • Listen to Me Marlon
      • Macbeth
      • The New Rijksmuseum
      • No Escape
      • Spy
      • The Visit
      • A Walk in the Woods
      • The Water Diviner
      • The Wolfpack
    • 2 Stars >
      • The 33
      • Aloft
      • Black Sea
      • Do I Sound Gay?
      • Fifty Shades of Grey
      • Focus
      • Freeheld
      • Get Hard
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2
      • Joy
      • Minions
      • Mississippi Grind
      • The Night Before
      • The Salvation
      • The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
      • Seventh Son
      • Terminator Genisys
      • Tomorrowland
      • True Story
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Chappie
      • Desert Dancer
      • Hot Tub Time Machine 2
      • The Divergent Series: Insurgent
      • Jupiter Ascending
      • Maggie
      • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
      • Run All Night
      • Ted 2
      • Vacation
    • 1 Star >
      • The Lazarus Effect
      • Magic Mike XXL
      • The Transporter Refueled
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • The Gallows
  • 2014 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Calvary
      • A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
      • Inherent Vice
      • The LEGO Movie
      • Life Itself
      • A Most Violent Year
      • Mr. Turner
      • The Theory of Everything
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Sniper
      • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
      • The Boxtrolls
      • Boyhood
      • The Equalizer
      • Fury
      • Gone Girl
      • Guardians of the Galaxy
      • The Imitation Game
      • Like Father, Like Son
      • Mommy
      • Nymphomaniac: Vol. I
      • Particle Fever
      • Selma
      • Top Five
      • Whiplash
    • 3 Stars >
      • 22 Jump Street
      • Alive Inside
      • Beside Still Waters
      • The Book of Life
      • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
      • The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: THEM
      • Draft Day
      • Edge of Tomorrow
      • Get on Up
      • Godzilla
      • The Grand Budapest Hotel
      • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
      • I Am Ali
      • The Judge
      • Kill the Messenger
      • Locke
      • Love Is Strange
      • Nas: Time Is Illmatic
      • Night Moves
      • The November Man
      • The One I Love
      • The Overnighters
      • The Raid 2
      • Rosewater
      • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
      • St. Vincent
      • Still Alice
      • Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
      • Two Days, One Night
      • Unbroken
      • Under the Skin
      • Wild
      • X-Men: Days of Future Past
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • 3 Days to Kill
      • About Last Night
      • Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
      • Art and Craft
      • As Above, So Below
      • Begin Again
      • Blood Ties
      • Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
      • Divergent
      • The Expendables 3
      • Fading Gigolo
      • Foxcatcher
      • The Giver
      • The Grand Seduction
      • Horns
      • Horrible Bosses 2
      • The Hundred-Foot Journey
      • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
      • Jersey Boys
      • Listen Up Philip
      • Magic in the Moonlight
      • The Maze Runner
      • Men, Women & Children
      • A Million Ways to Die in the West
      • The Monuments Men
      • Mr. Peabody & Sherman
      • Muppets Most Wanted
      • Need for Speed
      • Non-Stop
      • Point and Shoot
      • RoboCop
      • Tracks
      • Transcendence
      • Veronica Mars
      • Winter's Tale
    • 2 Stars >
      • 300: Rise of an Empire
      • Alan Partridge
      • The Amazing Spider-Man 2
      • The Art of the Steal
      • Big Hero 6
      • Blended
      • Exodus: Gods and Kings
      • The French Minister
      • Hellion
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1
      • Into the Storm
      • Into the Woods
      • John Wick
      • Laggies
      • Land Ho!
      • A Long Way Down
      • Lucy
      • Maleficent
      • Neighbors
      • Noah
      • The Nut Job
      • Oculus
      • Rio 2
      • That Awkward Moment
      • What If
      • When the Game Stands Tall
      • Wish I Was Here
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Big Eyes
      • The Fault in Our Stars
      • I, Frankenstein
      • Pompeii
      • Transformers: Age of Extinction
    • 1 Star >
      • Brick Mansions
      • The Identical
      • Ride Along
      • Son of God
      • Tusk
      • Vampire Academy
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Left Behind
      • The Legend of Hercules
      • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
    • Zero Stars >
      • A Haunted House 2
  • 2013 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • 12 Years A Slave
      • Frances Ha
      • The Gatekeepers
      • Gravity
      • Her
      • Lone Survivor
      • Much Ado About Nothing
      • Stoker
      • We Steal Secrets: The Story of Wikileaks
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • All Is Lost
      • August: Osage County
      • Before Midnight
      • The Bling Ring
      • Captain Phillips
      • Fruitvale Station
      • God Loves Uganda
      • The Great Beauty
      • Inside Llewyn Davis
      • The Patience Stone
      • The Wolf of Wall Street
      • You're Next
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ain't Them Bodies Saints
      • American Hustle
      • The Company You Keep
      • Dead Man Down
      • Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay
      • Don Jon
      • The East
      • Ender's Game
      • The Great Gatsby
      • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
      • The Invisible Woman
      • Iron Man 3
      • Labor Day
      • LUV
      • Man of Steel
      • No
      • Oblivion
      • Pacific Rim
      • The Place Beyond the Pines
      • Saving Mr. Banks
      • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
      • Side Effects
      • Star Trek Into Darkness
      • Thanks for Sharing
      • Thor: The Dark World
      • Tim's Vermeer
      • Upside Down
      • Warm Bodies
      • World War Z
      • The World's End
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Beautiful Creatures
      • Beyond the Hills
      • The Book Thief
      • Carrie
      • Emperor
      • Fast & Furious 6
      • Gloria
      • The Iceman
      • In a World...
      • Love Is All You Need
      • Mama
      • Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
      • Nebraska
      • Oldboy
      • Olympus Has Fallen
      • Prisoners
      • The Reluctant Fundamentalist
      • Rush
      • Snitch
      • This Is the End
      • Trance
    • 2 Stars >
      • Byzantium
      • The Counselor
      • Disconnect
      • G.I. Joe: Retaliation
      • Gangster Squad
      • Grudge Match
      • Jack the Giant Slayer
      • Machete Kills
      • Now You See Me
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Drinking Buddies
      • The Family
      • Girl Most Likely
      • Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
      • The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
      • The Lone Ranger
      • Parker
    • 1 Star >
      • The Hangover Part III
      • A Haunted House
      • John Dies at the End
      • The Last Stand
      • Oz the Great and Powerful
      • Spring Breakers
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Escape from Tomorrow
      • Evil Dead
      • A Good Day to Die Hard
  • 2012 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Argo
      • Bernie
      • Cloud Atlas
      • Django Unchained
      • Lincoln
      • Take this Waltz
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 5 Broken Cameras
      • Amour
      • Arbitrage
      • Chronicle
      • Looper
      • Moonrise Kingdom
      • The Perks of Being a Wallflower
      • The Queen of Versailles
      • The Raid: Redemption
      • Skyfall
      • The Woman in the Fifth
    • 3 Stars >
      • Act of Valor
      • American Reunion
      • Anna Karenina
      • The Avengers
      • Beasts of the Southern Wild
      • Celeste & Jesse Forever
      • The Dark Knight Rises
      • Frankenweenie
      • Haywire
      • Hitchcock
      • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
      • The Master
      • Not Fade Away
      • Oslo, August 31st
      • The Other Dream Team
      • The Sessions
      • Seven Psychopaths
      • Silver Linings Playbook
      • Sleepwalk With Me
      • To Rome with Love
      • Your Sister's Sister
      • Zero Dark Thirty
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • The Amazing Spider-Man
      • Farewell, My Queen
      • The Hunger Games
      • The Oranges
      • Robot & Frank
      • Safe House
      • Safety Not Guaranteed
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Deep Blue Sea
      • Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
      • Taken 2
      • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Bourne Legacy
      • Damsels in Distress
      • Lockout
      • Underworld: Awakening
      • Wrath of the Titans
    • 1 Star >
      • 2 Days in New York
  • 2011 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Another Earth
      • The Artist
      • Hugo
      • Midnight in Paris
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 50/50
      • The Devil's Double
      • Drive
      • The Hedgehog
      • The Help
      • The Ides of March
      • J. Edgar
      • The Mill and the Cross
      • My Afternoons with Margueritte
      • My Week with Marilyn
      • Mysteries of Lisbon
      • The Skin I Live In
      • Super 8
      • Young Adult
    • 3 Stars >
      • Albert Nobbs
      • Anonymous
      • Attack the Block
      • Bellflower
      • Circumstance
      • Colombiana
      • The Future
      • Happy, Happy
      • Incendies
      • Jane Eyre
      • Limitless
      • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
      • Moneyball
      • The Names of Love
      • Page One: Inside the New York Times
      • Pianomania
      • Queen to Play
      • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
      • Senna
      • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
      • Tower Heist
      • The Trip
      • Undefeated
      • A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
      • The Way
      • The Whistleblower
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Captain America: The First Avenger
      • Conan O'Brien Can't Stop
      • Crazy, Stupid, Love
      • Griff the Invisible
      • The Guard
      • Hanna
      • The Interrupters
      • The Iron Lady
      • Killer Elite
      • Love Crime
      • The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby
      • Margin Call
      • The Tree of Life
      • The Turin Horse
    • 2 Stars >
      • Bad Teacher
      • Blackthorn
      • Cowboys & Aliens
      • The Debt
      • The Descendants
      • Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
      • The Double Hour
      • Higher Ground
      • Immortals
      • In Darkness
      • Shame
      • Take Shelter
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Brighton Rock
      • Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
      • Martha Marcy May Marlene
      • One Day
      • Priest
      • Restless
    • 1 Star >
      • The Three Musketeers
      • Toast
      • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • Misc...
    • 2019 Middleburg Film Festival
    • 2019 AFI DOCS Film Festival
    • 2018 AFI DOCS Film Festival
    • 2017 Middleburg Film Festival
    • 2016 Middleburg Film Festival
  • Review Index
  • About Me

The Last Stand

Picture

Directed by: Kim Jee-Woon
Written by: Andrew Knauer
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, Luis Guzman, Eduardo Noriega, Jaimie Alexander, Peter Storemare, Johnny Knoxville, Doug Jackson, Chris Browning, Zach Gilford, Christiana Leucas
Action/Crime/Thriller - 107 min

Picture
The Last Stand is not a movie; it is a paid advertisement for Chevrolet.  Before you see Arnold, you see the Chevy emblem on the front of his Silverado.  We see a shiny red Camaro in the next scene.  Finally, a Corvette ZR1 is a supporting character in this film and gets more screen time than Forest Whitaker and Johnny Knoxville combined.  Minutes of dialogue are devoted to how it is a concept car stolen from a show, how it has over 1000 horsepower, and how it can outrun a helicopter.  

If you are a bad guy on the run from the law, why would you deliberately hop into the most visible and recognizable vehicle imaginable on the road from Las Vegas to the Mexican border?  If you take a Chevy Malibu, you could at least blend in.  Ah, but then where would the chase scenes go?  Unlike a Malibu, this Corvette car-of-the-future can turn off every single light and drive by an infrared screen.  The Corvette can go underneath an SUV, flip it over, and have the ensuing scratch marks on the hood look like an off-road racing stripe.

There are three writers listed on The Last Stand's credits and they are listed as Andrew Knauer - screenplay, Jeffrey Nachmanoff - rewrite, and George Nolfi - writing supervisor.  I don't think I have ever seen that before.  The producers hired a guy to write this story, another guy to re-write it, and a third guy to make sure they wrote something resembling a screenplay around the featured players aka the cars.

The Last Stand is a loose remake of High Noon; however, I do not remember Gary Cooper standing around while the corporations of the day flooded the screen with their wares.  Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a small town sheriff on the U.S./Mexico border and is there to appreciate the quiet life.  His deputies are under-trained goofballs (Luis Guzman, Jaimie Alexander, Zach Gilford), the town drunk is a former Marine who will readily remind you of his Iraq and Afghanistan service (Rodrigo Santoro), there is a maniac with an extreme firearm fetish (Johnny Knoxville), and the majority of the townspeople drove to a high school football away game for the weekend so there are only a handful of characters left to follow.  

Back in Vegas, FBI Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) is in charge of an extremely large and blatant convoy transporting a Mexican drug lord, Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), from some nameless place to some other nameless place to be executed.  Through a ridiculous and Wile E. Coyote/Roadrunner scene of escape, Gabriel eludes an entire FBI task force, takes an FBI agent prisoner, and hops into the Corvette ZR1 for the rest of the movie.  Driving at speeds between 120 and 180mph, Gabriel races south through police roadblocks, SWAT convoys, and will try and cross the border at Sheriff Ray Owens's outback town.  Thank goodness his small town has its own firearm fetishist with an armory double the size of any guerrilla warfare outfit.  

Give Arnold Schwarzenegger a little credit for trying out a new character.  While his contemporaries Stallone and Willis continue to pump out Rocky and Die Hard movies, Schwarzenegger is jumping back into the film industry, post-Governator, in a different (and regurgitated) movie formula.  He could easily have requested another Terminator movie.  Perhaps after The Last Stand inevitably tanks at the box office, another Terminator installment will be on the way to recoup some monetary losses.  After some really atrocious acting on Arnold's part, a machine would be the perfect character for him to try next.  The Corvette ZR1 and Camaro give more convincing performances than Arnold.

In High Noon, it was Gary Cooper against the world.  He was the lone man to stand up to the bad guys coming to town because it was his responsibility to do so.  This concept is now abducted, stretched thin, filled with inane and cartoonish sidekicks, and is saddled as a comeback vehicle for a former major action superstar.  I feel bad for the sheriff against the world concept, it deserves better than The Last Stand. 

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