Terminator: Dark Fate
Directed by: Tim Miller
Written by: David S. Goyer & Justin Rhodes and Billy Ray
Starring: Linda Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mackenzie Davis, Natalie Reyes, Gabriel Luna, Diego Boneta, Fraser James
Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 128 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 30 Oct 2019
Written by: David S. Goyer & Justin Rhodes and Billy Ray
Starring: Linda Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mackenzie Davis, Natalie Reyes, Gabriel Luna, Diego Boneta, Fraser James
Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 128 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 30 Oct 2019
Other than the nostalgia demographic keen to relive what they considered better days when Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton shared the big screen in James Cameron Terminator films, the other slice of folks who Dark Fate will thrill are doomsday preppers. I offer no quantitative analysis or charts to back this up, but the Terminator franchise must be a favorite of bunker owners, canned food stockers, booby trap survivalists, and firearms hoarders the world over. The movies prove them right! When human-created artificial intelligence becomes aware and decides to annihilate its makers, it’s the preppers who will most likely last the longest. There is a bit of a paradox in that. While those who prepare for the worst have some reality TV shows about them to entertain the rest of us, those lining their last stand spaces with barbed wire and generators are the butt of jokes in today’s society. However, if and when the terminators remove a few billion people from the Earth, will the future cave dwellers among us have time to scream, “I told you assholes!” before they spin their locks and seal themselves underground? Also, I would love to know how many stockpilers secretly yearn for Judgement Day so they will be proven right.
There is something callous about director Tim Miller and Paramount beaming with pride about Dark Fate being a direct sequel to 1991’s T2: Judgement Day. That means the last three films we all sat through are meaningless. They never happened. 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was a direct sequel! However, Paramount, in so many words, says, “We agree, the last few films lack that certain spark. Let’s shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start over.” The Halloween and Jurassic Park franchises already did it, they pretend particular films were never made, but it feels wrong. This is not a “those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it” kind of mistake, but erasing history should only be accomplished by qualified DeLorean-driving teenagers. Paramount and we as a movie-loving audience should own our collective mistakes. Shame on the studio for making Terminator Genisys and shame on us for padding their pockets for it.
There is something callous about director Tim Miller and Paramount beaming with pride about Dark Fate being a direct sequel to 1991’s T2: Judgement Day. That means the last three films we all sat through are meaningless. They never happened. 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was a direct sequel! However, Paramount, in so many words, says, “We agree, the last few films lack that certain spark. Let’s shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start over.” The Halloween and Jurassic Park franchises already did it, they pretend particular films were never made, but it feels wrong. This is not a “those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it” kind of mistake, but erasing history should only be accomplished by qualified DeLorean-driving teenagers. Paramount and we as a movie-loving audience should own our collective mistakes. Shame on the studio for making Terminator Genisys and shame on us for padding their pockets for it.
Since Dark Fate is all about remembering how awesome things were back in 1984 and 1991, its character presentation is also a remember factory, but more recent. Remember in Avengers: Endgame when all the ladies started cocking pistols, stretching muscles, and putting their game face on? Gamora, Valkyrie, Wasp, Scarlet Witch, et al., set themselves up in a delightful pose and proceeded to kick the shit out of Thanos girl power style. Well, Dark Fate is here to also poke disgruntled fanboys in the eye with not only Linda Hamilton, but two more ladies who can also land a punch - and one of them is an augmented human/super soldier woman from the future. The future changed its mind. Rather than send another Michael Biehn or Arnold back in time to protect the damsel in distress, they send a flesh and blood super girl, Grace (Mackenzie Davis, Blade Runner 2049). The name Grace symbolizes peace and an embroidery hobby. But this Grace is all about physics-defying stunts, a no-nonsense attitude, and frequent threats of dismemberment should anyone get in the way of her mission, protecting Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes).
Dani is only here for us to watch a character arc transformation from scared nobody into determined somebody. She’s along for the ride, not the lady we’re here to see. We’re primed to hoot, holler, and whoop it up for the gravel-voiced, grave-digging, guts of steel grandma. Linda Hamilton’s Sarah Conner blows the door off one of the greatest action film entrances in recent memory. The new Rev-9 terminator (Gabriel Luna, Bernie) shows off new gimmicks and features in the latest cyborg model, is about to kill both Dani and Grace on top of a Mexico City interstate overpass, and there is Linda with a, “I couldn’t give a fuck” facial expression casually hoisting a bazooka. Yes, please. Dark Fate is a by the numbers boredom machine whose sole purpose is to erase other films, but Linda Hamilton and her Mexico City bazooka extravaganza is inspired. Tim Miller directed the first Deadpool and there is a bit of that film’s snark and smirk in this scene.
Speaking of Deadpool, there is a moment where Grace the superwoman channels a bit of the also enhanced Ryan Reynolds's sarcasm. She takes Sarah’s cell phone, does some fancy gadget work, and in an irritated manner, answers, “Future shit,” when asked what she’s doing. This answer is both genius and lazy at the same time. On the one hand, the film’s three screen writers and five story idea generators do not have to come up with some tech jargon nobody will understand anyway, but on the other hand, she’s right. It’s future shit. Marty McFly could just have easily said the same thing back in 1955 at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. The writers also skewer our polarized contemporary problems with a sequence set at the U.S./Mexico border. Grace asks where they take the prisoners and a terrified, yet politically-conscious, woman corrects her, “Actually, we call them detainees.” This sort of modern day hair-splitting is why many of the doomsday preppers will not be too sad to start putting their skills into action. The cyborgs may take away our electricity, food, sanitation, kindness, and hope, but by God, there will be no more borders, annual cell phone releases, Instagram updates, and Kardashians.
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