Show Dogs
Directed by: Raja Gosnell
Written by: Max Botkin and Marc Hyman
Starring: Will Arnett, Natasha Lyonne, Omar Chaparro, Oliver Tompsett, Andy Beckwith
Voices by: Ludacris, Stanley Tucci, Gabriel Iglesias, Alan Cumming, Shaquille O’Neal, RuPaul
Action/Adventure/Comedy - 92 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 18 May 2018
Written by: Max Botkin and Marc Hyman
Starring: Will Arnett, Natasha Lyonne, Omar Chaparro, Oliver Tompsett, Andy Beckwith
Voices by: Ludacris, Stanley Tucci, Gabriel Iglesias, Alan Cumming, Shaquille O’Neal, RuPaul
Action/Adventure/Comedy - 92 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 18 May 2018
I like to think I know what my five year-old will like or not beforehand, but I got it wrong on Show Dogs. Asking him where this ranks on the nine or so movies he’s seen in a theater, Show Dogs came in behind Peter Rabbit but ahead of Boss Baby. This is big. This means Show Dogs is one of the best movies he has ever seen. This sample size is small and it does not shock me one bit a five year-old would like the talking dogs. The reason I feel deceived is he did not laugh. Nobody will laugh harder at a fart joke than this kid and there is always a line or two he will parrot for the next week. Not so with Show Dogs. Max the Rottweiler straight up farts on Will Arnett. Nothing. Nor is he quoting any lines. I thought he would hate this movie like his dad. Nope, he claims nothing but love for it.
Show Dogs makes those 30 second Geico commercials with the humans asking McGruff the Crime Dog if he has to go “tinky poo poo” look like L.A. Confidential or Chinatown. Turner & Hooch and even K-9 with James Belushi are the Citizen Kane of canine films compared to this thing. I am not automatically opposed to talking dogs as lead characters. I throughly enjoyed Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey and Beethoven as a kid (even though Beethoven didn’t talk). Even this year, Isle of Dogs is a four-star film and that movie is chock full of talking dogs. No, it’s not the dogs; it’s the writing.
Show Dogs makes those 30 second Geico commercials with the humans asking McGruff the Crime Dog if he has to go “tinky poo poo” look like L.A. Confidential or Chinatown. Turner & Hooch and even K-9 with James Belushi are the Citizen Kane of canine films compared to this thing. I am not automatically opposed to talking dogs as lead characters. I throughly enjoyed Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey and Beethoven as a kid (even though Beethoven didn’t talk). Even this year, Isle of Dogs is a four-star film and that movie is chock full of talking dogs. No, it’s not the dogs; it’s the writing.
Max Botkin and Marc Hyman’s script is terrible. If you want to set the caper in Las Vegas and have the dog enter a show dog contest, have at it. However, write anything more than platitudinous one-liners. Every single thing Max (Ludacris, The Fate of the Furious) says is a simple, declarative sentence. It makes McGruff’s catchphrase, “Take a bite out of crime” sound like Dostoyevsky. The bad guy Max chases jumps over a fence and mocks the dog because dogs can't climb chain-link fences. Max easily unlatches the gate and says, "You play defense, I play open fence!" Every line he says is just like this! The dog supporting cast such as Philippe the French Papillon (Stanley Tucci, Beauty and the Beast) and Daisy the Australian Shepherd (Jordin Sparks, Left Behind) venture into compound and complex sentence territory. Even though we are dealing with a doggie detective, does not mean you have to saddle him with the worst dialogue ever written for a pooch.
Show Dogs is Miss Congeniality for canines. Max is a police dog charged with solving the kidnapping of a baby panda. Word is the criminals behind the snatch-and-grab will steal the winner of the Canini dog show in Las Vegas, so Max will infiltrate the contest, act like a show dog, and nab the bad guys. Max is saddled with FBI Agent Frank (Will Arnett, The LEGO Batman Movie) as the human who will open doors for him and such. Dog show pro, Mattie (Natasha Lyonne, Girl Most Likely) is a champion dog handler but also acts as an FBI mole, conduit, and liaison whenever the agency needs to infiltrate a dog show, which sounds like it happens more often than in just this film.
Billed as a family action/adventure movie, dogs are the stars here and humans are the background players. Maybe that is why my kid liked it so much. Watching dogs run around, solving crimes, and act like humans is funny to that demographic. Max must learn how to prance like a show dog, get groomed like a show dog, and tolerate his doghood getting felt up like a show dog. I had to explain the bikini wax scene about why Max screamed so loud when Frank ripped the fur off of Max’s nether regions, but that is the most explanation I had to do. Director Raja Gosnell wants to corner the CGI talking dog genre for whatever reason. The preview is proud to say “From the director of Beverly Hills Chihuahua!” Well, I do not see too much competition coming his way. Perhaps I am just too old and have seen too many talking dog films. If my five year-old loved it, perhaps yours will as well. However, I suspect anyone six years-old and up will also abhor everything about Show Dogs.
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