My Spy
Directed by: Peter Segal
Written by: Erich Hoeber & Jon Hoeber
Starring: Dave Bautista, Chole Coleman, Kristen Schaal, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Devere Rogers, Noah Danby, Greg Bryk, Ken Jeong, Nicola Correia-Damude
Action/Comedy/Family - 99 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 25 Jun 2020
Written by: Erich Hoeber & Jon Hoeber
Starring: Dave Bautista, Chole Coleman, Kristen Schaal, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Devere Rogers, Noah Danby, Greg Bryk, Ken Jeong, Nicola Correia-Damude
Action/Comedy/Family - 99 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 25 Jun 2020

There is a comedy sub-genre out there which pokes it head above the noise layer every few years to check in with audiences. Studios believe there is something inherently funny about combining someone very tall and/or strong with a child. Another way it can work is combine an authority figure with a child. Usually, neither of them wants to be involved with the other one, but they slowly understand each other’s point of view, and by the end, cue the sweet music. Kindergarten Cop is a good example of where this can work. There was more going on there than just Arnold Schwarzenegger being so large and a classroom of Kindergarteners being so small. 1993’s Cop & 1/2 with Burt Reynolds is example number one of when this falls to pieces.
My Spy’s attempt to squeeze into this market opts for the strongman type with a CIA agent who introduces his character development with, “I’m not good at this spy stuff, but you know what I am good at? Kickin’ ass!” He’s paired with a precocious nine year-old who seems light years beyond her peers; therefore, why make her feel so awkward trying to gain their approval and fit in? Dave Bautista (Avengers: Endgame) as JJ more or less copies Schwarzenegger’s assignment - watch this family, mom and child, and look for anything screwy.
My Spy’s attempt to squeeze into this market opts for the strongman type with a CIA agent who introduces his character development with, “I’m not good at this spy stuff, but you know what I am good at? Kickin’ ass!” He’s paired with a precocious nine year-old who seems light years beyond her peers; therefore, why make her feel so awkward trying to gain their approval and fit in? Dave Bautista (Avengers: Endgame) as JJ more or less copies Schwarzenegger’s assignment - watch this family, mom and child, and look for anything screwy.

However, My Spy lacks a few things Kindergarten Cop had. First of all, Bautista’s performance here is beyond wooden. Folks enjoy his Drax persona from the Guardians of the Galaxy because he is a guy who does not understand sarcasm. When he attempts to understand why people are laughing or attempts to make a joke himself, it’s funny because it requires a somewhat dry and stale delivery. Bautista also employs dry and stale here to make JJ appear aloof, guarded, and mission focused, but it lands with a thud.

On the other hand, his short-stack counterpart, Chloe Coleman, knocks her subject out of the park. Little Sophie is world-wise, understands life contains both heroes and villains, and will connect with the kids in the audience who will wish they could talk with so much confidence and with such a vocabulary range as her. There is a background plot to push characters around about a bad guy trying to get his hands on plans to make a nuclear weapon, but that is window dressing to get JJ and Sophie from cautionary neutrals to partners.

Director Peter Segal, who has scored in the past with Get Smart and 50 First Dates, saves My Spy from mockery because it pokes fun at itself. It picks on action film tropes like the last pun a good guy says before he kills the bad guy and walking in slow motion away from an enormous explosion without a care in the world. There is even a Raiders of the Lost Ark reference which will sail right over the heads of the kids and make them wonder why all of their parents are chuckling. However, caution before you let a really little one watch - My Spy has an edge to it with some surprising language and sexual references. I say nine is the sweet spot.

Supporting characters help make or break films like this and they end of cancelling each other out. Kristen Schaal’s Bobbi is a computer analyst who dreams of being JJ’s in-the-field partner. She gets jealous of Sophie’s innate spy abilities, but gets stuck being the advertisement for My Spy’s obvious commercial sponsor, Doritos. Ken Jeong is useless and hardly on screen as JJ’s fed-up boss and there is a gay couple playing the stereotype for all it is worth who live across the hall. Perhaps everyone added a bit more pepper to their performances to make up for Bautista’s choice to go full 2x4. Put it all together and My Spy will not torture parents nor become their kid’s new favorite movie, but it will distract everyone long enough to not make it seem like a waste of time.
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