Kin
Directed by: Jonathan & Josh Baker
Written by: Daniel Casey - Based on the short film "Bag Man"
Starring: Myles Truitt, Jack Reynor, Dennis Quaid, Zoë Kravitz, James Franco, Carrie Coon, Ian Matthews, Gavin Fox
Action/Sci-Fi - 102 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 30 Aug 2018
Written by: Daniel Casey - Based on the short film "Bag Man"
Starring: Myles Truitt, Jack Reynor, Dennis Quaid, Zoë Kravitz, James Franco, Carrie Coon, Ian Matthews, Gavin Fox
Action/Sci-Fi - 102 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 30 Aug 2018

Someone set a dumpster on fire and filmed the resulting noxious fumes as they coalesced into what some people may call a movie. This road trip / sci-fi firearm fetish masquerading as an indie drama spurs so many questions about how and why this thing ever got made it may even distract from the scene which ties it all together, James Franco whipping it out and pissing on a gas station floor. From the producers of Stranger Things and Arrival, here is the story of a kid knee-deep in puberty who mistakenly transfers any curiosity and feelings he may have for the opposite sex onto an alien rifle. The rifle is a tool for the characters to get themselves out of tight spots they never be in in the first. Rinse. Repeat.
14 year-old Eli Solinski’s life changes when he stumbles upon the aftermath of an alien battle and makes off with a big-ass rifle. Based on a short film called “Bag Man” by the co-directors, brothers Jonathan and Josh Baker, you could really replace the rifle with anything - stolen cash, rare gemstones, a necklace acting as a geographic clue to the Arc of the Covenant, etc… The gun is a plot device to keep a road movie churning through its pit stops. Cornered in a strip club by a pimp and his posse? Ray gun. Knocking off the pimp’s poker game? Ray gun. James Franco finally finishes pissing on the floor and decides to take over an entire police station with four gentlemen who have all obviously suffered through a series of poor life choices? Ray gun.
14 year-old Eli Solinski’s life changes when he stumbles upon the aftermath of an alien battle and makes off with a big-ass rifle. Based on a short film called “Bag Man” by the co-directors, brothers Jonathan and Josh Baker, you could really replace the rifle with anything - stolen cash, rare gemstones, a necklace acting as a geographic clue to the Arc of the Covenant, etc… The gun is a plot device to keep a road movie churning through its pit stops. Cornered in a strip club by a pimp and his posse? Ray gun. Knocking off the pimp’s poker game? Ray gun. James Franco finally finishes pissing on the floor and decides to take over an entire police station with four gentlemen who have all obviously suffered through a series of poor life choices? Ray gun.

The Daft Punk-looking alien guys realize a piece of their arsenal is missing. They teleport into the abandoned factory to retrieve it and then start using advanced laser beam technology to track it down. By now, Eli (Myles Truitt) and his ex-con brother, Jimmy (Jack Reynor, Detroit), are already road-tripping to Tahoe. Pardon me for asking a plot question at this juncture. If the aliens can just open a portal and step into Detroit, why hop on super fast motorcycles for two days chasing down the brothers? Can’t they just portal further west to Omaha or Denver saving an obscene amount of time? The aliens are not really part of the story until the climax, which took one look at the Fonz jumping a shark and decided to jump a megalodon.

Jimmy is fresh out of six years in the slammer and immediately causes massive headaches for dad, Hal (Dennis Quaid, A Dog's Purpose). Jimmy owes protection money to a local gangster (James Franco, The Night Before). If he doesn’t pay, Franco may have to come over and piss on Dennis Quaid’s floor too. Hal and Eli were already just scraping by. Mom is dead, Eli is getting in trouble at school, and now Jimmy is going to ensure he tips over their delicate balance and ruin everybody’s life. Jimmy is the worst son and brother ever. On the run, Jimmy continues to make absurd decisions. These boys need to lay low; therefore, Jimmy drags Eli into the nearest strip club and throws a whole bunch of cash around attracting the sort of attention one attracts in a seedy strip club.

The script was calling for a third person to join the road trip crew, how about a random stripper named Milly (Zoë Kravitz, The Lego Batman Movie)? She’ll do I guess. All these characters are emotionally broken in their own way, might as well be broken together on the road committing a string of felonies with a ray gun thingy. Detroit was a wise setting for the Baker brothers to use since its real life decay and abandonment matches the characters. It’s rust belt juxtaposed with futuristic glow - that rifle produces a whole bunch of swirly lights when you aim it properly.

Kin also continues the Stranger Things, ‘80s nostalgia trip. There’s Dennis Quaid - he’s from the ‘80s. There’s a Terminator 2 arcade game. Ok, that’s early ‘90s, but close enough. The Baker boys obviously have a sequel waiting in the wings after leaving us with one of the most random endings ever filmed. Since there is no way a sequel to this thing will ever be made, it may become as notorious as the ending to the early ‘90s Super Mario Bros. movie which set itself up for a never-made sequel. The only thing Kin will ever produce is heartburn, incredulousness, and shock at realizing this 4-hour movie is only a little over an hour-and-a-half.
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