Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
Directed by: J.A. Bayona
Written by; Derek Connolly & Colin Trevorrow
Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Isabella Sermon, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Toby Jones, Ted Levine, James Cromwell, Jeff Goldblum, BD Wong, Geraldine Chaplin
Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 128 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 21 June 2018
Written by; Derek Connolly & Colin Trevorrow
Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Isabella Sermon, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Toby Jones, Ted Levine, James Cromwell, Jeff Goldblum, BD Wong, Geraldine Chaplin
Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 128 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 21 June 2018

Jurassic Park 5? Jurassic World 2? We are long past the irony of a movie franchise preaching about the ethical issues of the commodification of animals, extinct or not. This very franchise is based on data analysis showing the sucker public will purchase tickets to see a slight variation of something they have already seen four times. The law of diminishing returns packed its suitcase and evacuated around three films ago. I don’t care that folks like dinosaur movies. It doesn’t matter that visual effects technology advances every year. The majesty of Jurassic Park has descended into the common monster movie.
What the hell ever happened to subtlety? Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a larger lizard quantity and a literal ship load of new species to parade around. Yet, wonder and awe is replaced by the action/thriller. Suspense is now scream and run, repeat. There are also bullshit jump scares. A Jurassic movie does not require amateur hour horror movie techniques. You have IMAX screen-filling T-Rexs and even larger behemoths. How on Earth can you insert a jump scare with a child yelling, “Boo!” alongside them?
What the hell ever happened to subtlety? Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a larger lizard quantity and a literal ship load of new species to parade around. Yet, wonder and awe is replaced by the action/thriller. Suspense is now scream and run, repeat. There are also bullshit jump scares. A Jurassic movie does not require amateur hour horror movie techniques. You have IMAX screen-filling T-Rexs and even larger behemoths. How on Earth can you insert a jump scare with a child yelling, “Boo!” alongside them?

Director J.A. Bayona, continuing the trend of hiring mid-grade directors on the cheap to helm a tent pole swings and misses. His previous film, A Monster Calls, was one of the 10 best films of 2016…in my opinion. It’s also not the look of the film which will alienate the audience. It’s the dumbass script by Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow. Trevorrow directed the previous reboot entry introducing us to Claire and Owen and inexplicably drops a turkey for the sequel whereby the dinosaurs don’t just overrun a theme park; they overrun a mansion.

Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard, Gold) and Owen (Chris Pratt, Avengers: Infinity War) went their separate ways after Jurassic World and now must awkwardly work together to try and save some dinosaurs from re-extinction from what was thought to be a long dormant volcano. The echoes to how the first dino extinction occurred is laid on far too thick and this time, Bayona douses it with loads of empathy. The overheated melodrama makes us feel bad fire and ash once again consume the animals.

Jeff Goldblum (Isle of Dogs) is back, but all he gets to do is spout platitudes in front of uncomprehending Congressmen looking for lobbyists to tell them what to do. Outside, protestors wave placards saying, “They have rights too!” What may have been engaging themes like mankind’s relationship to science and nature is completely drowned out by cartoonish bad guys, one-dimensional supporting characters, another kid put in harm’s way, and a script in dire need of an overhaul.

Every Jurassic film requires at least one, but preferably two, little ones tormented by dinosaurs. This time, Maisie (Isabella Sermon), is the granddaughter of the aforementioned mansion owner, Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell, Marshall). Lockwood is the former business partner of John Hammond. You remember Hammond; Richard Attenborough played him in the first installment. He got to say, “Welcome, to Jurassic Park.” As all the various young ones do, Maisie eventually plays cat and mouse with the creatures and displays some plucky ingenuity. The public may like them some dinosaur movies, but they love story arc familiarity even more.

This is a disappointment rant. Bayona left me a sobbing mess by the end of A Monster Calls, a puddle of goo. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is as common as a Ninja Turtles episode by comparison. The director who pierced my armor and made me feel something when I usually feel nothing is now just another summer blockbuster everyman. The matters bubbling under the surface which truly are important like genetic engineering and bioethics are only passersby. The subjects are not treated with any respect; not when there a new thing like the ‘Indoraptor’ of whatever the hell it’s called. Blech.
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