Citizen Charlie
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  • 2021 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • French Exit
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Judas and the Black Messiah
      • Nobody
    • 3 Stars >
      • Bliss
      • Land
      • Malcolm & Marie
      • The Mauritanian
      • The United States vs. Billie Holiday
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Chaos Walking
      • The Courier
      • The Little Things
    • 2 Stars >
      • City of Lies
      • Coming 2 America
      • Raya and the Last Dragon
      • Supernova
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Marksman
      • Silk Road
    • 1 Star >
      • Outside the Wire
  • Cinema Clash Podcast
  • 2020 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Outpost
      • Promising Young Woman
      • The Vast of Night
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • The Assistant
      • The Burnt Orange Heresy
      • The Climb
      • Da 5 Bloods
      • Extra Ordinary
      • First Cow
      • The Gentlemen
      • The Hunt
      • I'm Thinking of Ending Things
      • John Lewis: Good Trouble
      • Never Rarely Sometimes Always
      • One Night in Miami
      • Sound of Metal
    • 3 Stars >
      • Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
      • Chemical Hearts
      • Deerskin
      • EMMA.
      • Kajillionaire
      • The Midnight Sky
      • News of the World
      • The Old Guard
      • Olympic Dreams
      • Premature
      • The Prom
      • The Social Dilemma
      • Sputnik
      • The Trip to Greece
      • The Twentieth Century
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Bill & Ted Face the Music
      • Enola Holmes
      • Herself
      • How to Build a Girl
      • Tesla
      • True History of the Kelly Gang
      • Vivarium
      • We Are Little Zombies
      • The White Tiger
    • 2 Stars >
      • Blow the Man Down
      • Come Away
      • Come Play
      • Greed
      • Greenland
      • Irresistible
      • Let Him Go
      • Lucky Grandma
      • My Spy
      • Project Power
      • Radioactive
      • The Rhythm Section
      • Save Yourselves!
      • The Traitor (Il Traditore)
      • Wild Mountain Thyme
      • Yes, God, Yes
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Bad Boys for Life
      • Butt Boy
      • The High Note
      • Selah and the Spades
      • Underwater
      • The War with Grandpa
      • Wonder Woman 1984
    • 1 Star >
      • Honest Thief
  • 2019 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • 1917
      • A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
      • For Sama
      • Jojo Rabbit
      • Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Alita: Battle Angel
      • Blinded by the Light
      • Booksmart
      • John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
      • Joker
      • Knives Out
      • Midnight Traveler
      • Mike Wallace Is Here
      • Transit
      • Waves
      • Wild Nights with Emily
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ash is the Purest White
      • Avengers: Endgame
      • Bombshell
      • Brittany Runs A Marathon
      • Captain Marvel
      • The Dead Don't Die
      • Frozen II
      • Gloria Bell
      • Good Boys
      • The Hummingbird Project
      • The Kid Who Would Be King
      • Knock Down the House
      • Meeting Gorbachev
      • Queen & Slim
      • Ready or Not
      • The Report
      • Rocketman
      • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
      • Teen Spirit
      • Us
      • Velvet Buzzsaw
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • All Is True
      • Charlie's Angels
      • Downton Abbey
      • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
      • Hustlers
      • It Chapter Two
      • The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
      • The Lion King
      • Long Day's Journey Into Night
      • Non-Fiction
      • Official Secrets
      • The Peanut Butter Falcon
      • Richard Jewell
      • Shazam!
      • Stan & Ollie
      • Uncut Gems
      • The Upside
      • Where's My Roy Cohn?
      • Wonder Park
      • Yesterday
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Art of Racing in the Rain
      • Dark Phoenix
      • Dora and the Lost City of Gold
      • Frankie
      • Glass
      • Isn't It Romantic
      • Midway
      • Red Joan
      • Spider-Man: Far From Home
      • What Men Want
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Aeronauts
      • Angel Has Fallen
      • Dumbo
      • Gemini Man
      • The Goldfinch
      • The Kitchen
      • Pokémon Detective Pikachu
      • Serenity
      • Terminator: Dark Fate
    • 1 Star >
      • Men in Black: International
      • Miss Bala
      • Stuber
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Happy Death Day 2U
  • 2018 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
      • Burning
      • The Death of Stalin
      • The Favourite
      • Isle of Dogs
      • The King
      • Roma
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Animals
      • Avengers: Infinity War
      • Blaze
      • Boy Erased
      • Eighth Grade
      • The Endless
      • First Man
      • Green Book
      • Hostiles
      • The Insult
      • Mom and Dad
      • Puzzle
      • RBG
      • Ready Player One
      • Skate Kitchen
      • Sorry to Bother You
      • A Star Is Born
      • Vox Lux
    • 3 Stars >
      • Annihilation
      • Black Panther
      • Bumblebee
      • Deadpool 2
      • Eating Animals
      • Flower
      • Godard Mon Amour
      • The House with a Clock in Its Walls
      • Journey's End
      • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
      • Mission: Impossible - Fallout
      • Paddington 2
      • The Price of Everything
      • Red Sparrow
      • The Rider
      • The Seagull
      • Support the Girls
      • Venom
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Aquaman
      • Bohemian Rhapsody
      • Creed II
      • Game Night
      • The Gospel According to André
      • Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
      • Mary Poppins Returns
      • Mile 22
      • Operation Finale
      • The Party
      • Peter Rabbit
      • Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood
      • Sicario: Day of the Soldado
      • A Simple Favor
      • Solo: A Star Wars Story
      • The Spy Who Dumped Me
      • Wildlife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Ant-Man and the Wasp
      • Ben Is Back
      • Blockers
      • Book Club
      • Christopher Robin
      • Damsel
      • Death Wish
      • Early Man
      • The Equalizer 2
      • Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
      • Generation Wealth
      • Halloween
      • Measure of a Man
      • The Meg
      • A Midsummer Night's Dream
      • Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
      • Ocean's 8
      • Peppermint
      • Tomb Raider
      • A Wrinkle in Time
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Commuter
      • Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings
      • Fifty Shades Freed
      • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
      • Maze Runner: The Death Cure
      • The Predator
    • 1 Star >
      • Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti
      • The Happytime Murders
      • Night School
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Born Guilty
      • Kin
      • Show Dogs
  • 2017 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Blade Runner 2049
      • Dunkirk
      • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
      • Wind River
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Columbus
      • Detroit
      • Donald Cried
      • Faces Places (Visages, villages)
      • Frantz
      • Get Out
      • I, Tonya
      • An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power
      • It
      • Okja
      • The Shape of Water
      • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
    • 3 Stars >
      • Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
      • Atomic Blonde
      • Baby Driver
      • The Big Sick
      • Cars 3
      • The Fencer
      • Finding Oscar
      • The Florida Project
      • Girls Trip
      • The Greatest Showman
      • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
      • Jeremiah Tower: The Last Magnificent
      • The LEGO Batman Movie
      • Logan Lucky
      • Marshall
      • Novitiate
      • Personal Shopper
      • RAW
      • School Life
      • Split
      • Star Wars: The Last Jedi
      • Thelma
      • Thor: Ragnarok
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Battle of the Sexes
      • The Boss Baby
      • Breathe
      • A Cure for Wellness
      • Dolores
      • Ferdinand
      • The Great Wall
      • John Wick Chapter 2
      • Justice League
      • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
      • Lady Bird
      • Landline
      • Last Flag Flying
      • Rebel in the Rye
      • Victoria and Abdul
      • Wonder Woman
      • The Zookeeper's Wife
    • 2 Stars >
      • Beauty and the Beast
      • The Dark Tower
      • A Dog's Purpose
      • Gifted
      • Gold
      • Home Again
      • Ingrid Goes West
      • The Last Word
      • Leap!
      • Logan
      • The Lost City of Z
      • The Mummy
      • Paris Can Wait
      • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
      • Rock Dog
      • Song to Song
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Before I Fall
      • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
      • The Dinner
      • Everything, Everything
      • The Fate of the Furious
      • Fifty Shades Darker
      • Happy Death Day
      • It Comes at Night
      • Snatched
      • Suburbicon
      • Wish Upon
    • 1 Star >
      • Rings
      • The Space Between Us
      • xXx: Return of Xander Cage
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Buster's Mal Heart
  • 2016 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Captain Fantastic
      • Hell or High Water
      • I Am Not Your Negro
      • Jackie
      • Krisha
      • La La Land
      • A Monster Calls
      • Paterson
      • Silence
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • The Accountant
      • Cameraperson
      • Deadpool
      • Embrace of the Serpent
      • Finding Dory
      • Hail, Caesar!
      • Miss Sloane
      • Moonlight
      • Nocturnal Animals
      • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
    • 3 Stars >
      • Allied
      • Arrival
      • Author: The JT LeRoy Story
      • The Birth of a Nation
      • The Conjuring 2
      • Creative Control
      • Doctor Strange
      • The Eagle Huntress
      • The Edge of Seventeen
      • Eye in the Sky
      • The First Monday in May
      • Green Room
      • Hacksaw Ridge
      • Ixcanul
      • The Jungle Book
      • Keanu
      • Live by Night
      • Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World
      • The Magnificent Seven
      • Miles Ahead
      • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
      • A Monster with a Thousand Heads
      • The Nice Guys
      • Passengers
      • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
      • Star Trek Beyond
      • Sully
      • War Dogs
      • Wiener-Dog
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Café Society
      • Captain America: Civil War
      • Christine
      • The Clan
      • Deepwater Horizon
      • Eddie the Eagle
      • Equals
      • The Girl on the Train
      • High-Rise
      • The Infiltrator
      • Knight of Cups
      • Kubo and the Two Strings
      • Lion
      • Little Men
      • London Has Fallen
      • Louder Than Bombs
      • Morris from America
      • Pete's Dragon
      • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
      • Queen of Katwe
      • Race
      • Southside With You
      • Storks
      • Sunset Song
      • Trolls
      • Warcraft
      • Zootopia
    • 2 Stars >
      • Alice Through the Looking Glass
      • American Pastoral
      • Bad Moms
      • The BFG
      • Blair Witch
      • The Choice
      • Dough
      • Everybody Wants Some!!
      • The Finest Hours
      • The Legend of Tarzan
      • The Light Between Oceans
      • The Secret Life of Pets
      • Suicide Squad
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The 5th Wave
      • Allegiant
      • Angry Birds
      • Bad Santa 2
      • The Boss
      • Central Intelligence
      • Ghostbusters
      • How to Be Single
      • The Huntsman: Winter's War
      • Ip Man 3
      • Zoolander 2
    • 1 Star >
      • Gods of Egypt
      • Ice Age: Collision Course
      • My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
      • Now You See Me 2
      • Ratchet & Clank
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Ben-Hur
      • Norm of the North
      • Ride Along 2
  • 2015 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • The Big Short
      • Ex Machina
      • Jafar Panahi's Taxi
      • Steve Jobs
      • The Tribe
      • While We're Young
      • Youth
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • Best of Enemies
      • Bridge of Spies
      • Brooklyn
      • Clouds of Sils Maria
      • Concussion
      • The End of the Tour
      • The Hateful Eight
      • Inside Out
      • It Follows
      • Mad Max: Fury Road
      • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
      • The Martian
      • Mistress America
      • The Revenant
      • Room
      • Shaun the Sheep Movie
      • Sisters
      • Spotlight
      • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
      • Straight Outta Compton
      • Truth
    • 3 Stars >
      • The Age of Adaline
      • Avengers: Age of Ultron
      • Black Mass
      • Carol
      • The Cut
      • Entourage
      • Fresh Dressed
      • The Good Dinosaur
      • Grandma
      • James White
      • Janis: Little Girl Blue
      • Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet
      • McFarland, USA
      • Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
      • Merchants of Doubt
      • MERU
      • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
      • Mustang
      • Pan
      • The Peanuts Movie
      • Pitch Perfect 2
      • Pixels
      • San Andreas
      • The Second Mother
      • Son of Saul
      • Spectre
      • Trainwreck
      • We Are Your Friends
      • Woman in Gold
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • American Ultra
      • Anomalisa
      • Ant-Man
      • The Assassin
      • The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution
      • Boulevard
      • Crimson Peak
      • The Danish Girl
      • Far from the Madding Crowd
      • Finders Keepers
      • Furious 7
      • The Gunman
      • Hippocrates: Diary of a French Doctor
      • In the Heart of the Sea
      • Jurassic World
      • Kingsman: The Secret Service
      • Listen to Me Marlon
      • Macbeth
      • The New Rijksmuseum
      • No Escape
      • Spy
      • The Visit
      • A Walk in the Woods
      • The Water Diviner
      • The Wolfpack
    • 2 Stars >
      • The 33
      • Aloft
      • Black Sea
      • Do I Sound Gay?
      • Fifty Shades of Grey
      • Focus
      • Freeheld
      • Get Hard
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2
      • Joy
      • Minions
      • Mississippi Grind
      • The Night Before
      • The Salvation
      • The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
      • Seventh Son
      • Terminator Genisys
      • Tomorrowland
      • True Story
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Chappie
      • Desert Dancer
      • Hot Tub Time Machine 2
      • The Divergent Series: Insurgent
      • Jupiter Ascending
      • Maggie
      • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
      • Run All Night
      • Ted 2
      • Vacation
    • 1 Star >
      • The Lazarus Effect
      • Magic Mike XXL
      • The Transporter Refueled
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • The Gallows
  • 2014 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Calvary
      • A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
      • Inherent Vice
      • The LEGO Movie
      • Life Itself
      • A Most Violent Year
      • Mr. Turner
      • The Theory of Everything
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • American Sniper
      • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
      • The Boxtrolls
      • Boyhood
      • The Equalizer
      • Fury
      • Gone Girl
      • Guardians of the Galaxy
      • The Imitation Game
      • Like Father, Like Son
      • Mommy
      • Nymphomaniac: Vol. I
      • Particle Fever
      • Selma
      • Top Five
      • Whiplash
    • 3 Stars >
      • 22 Jump Street
      • Alive Inside
      • Beside Still Waters
      • The Book of Life
      • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
      • The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: THEM
      • Draft Day
      • Edge of Tomorrow
      • Get on Up
      • Godzilla
      • The Grand Budapest Hotel
      • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
      • I Am Ali
      • The Judge
      • Kill the Messenger
      • Locke
      • Love Is Strange
      • Nas: Time Is Illmatic
      • Night Moves
      • The November Man
      • The One I Love
      • The Overnighters
      • The Raid 2
      • Rosewater
      • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
      • St. Vincent
      • Still Alice
      • Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon
      • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
      • Two Days, One Night
      • Unbroken
      • Under the Skin
      • Wild
      • X-Men: Days of Future Past
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • 3 Days to Kill
      • About Last Night
      • Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
      • Art and Craft
      • As Above, So Below
      • Begin Again
      • Blood Ties
      • Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
      • Divergent
      • The Expendables 3
      • Fading Gigolo
      • Foxcatcher
      • The Giver
      • The Grand Seduction
      • Horns
      • Horrible Bosses 2
      • The Hundred-Foot Journey
      • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
      • Jersey Boys
      • Listen Up Philip
      • Magic in the Moonlight
      • The Maze Runner
      • Men, Women & Children
      • A Million Ways to Die in the West
      • The Monuments Men
      • Mr. Peabody & Sherman
      • Muppets Most Wanted
      • Need for Speed
      • Non-Stop
      • Point and Shoot
      • RoboCop
      • Tracks
      • Transcendence
      • Veronica Mars
      • Winter's Tale
    • 2 Stars >
      • 300: Rise of an Empire
      • Alan Partridge
      • The Amazing Spider-Man 2
      • The Art of the Steal
      • Big Hero 6
      • Blended
      • Exodus: Gods and Kings
      • The French Minister
      • Hellion
      • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1
      • Into the Storm
      • Into the Woods
      • John Wick
      • Laggies
      • Land Ho!
      • A Long Way Down
      • Lucy
      • Maleficent
      • Neighbors
      • Noah
      • The Nut Job
      • Oculus
      • Rio 2
      • That Awkward Moment
      • What If
      • When the Game Stands Tall
      • Wish I Was Here
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Big Eyes
      • The Fault in Our Stars
      • I, Frankenstein
      • Pompeii
      • Transformers: Age of Extinction
    • 1 Star >
      • Brick Mansions
      • The Identical
      • Ride Along
      • Son of God
      • Tusk
      • Vampire Academy
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Left Behind
      • The Legend of Hercules
      • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
    • Zero Stars >
      • A Haunted House 2
  • 2013 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • 12 Years A Slave
      • Frances Ha
      • The Gatekeepers
      • Gravity
      • Her
      • Lone Survivor
      • Much Ado About Nothing
      • Stoker
      • We Steal Secrets: The Story of Wikileaks
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • All Is Lost
      • August: Osage County
      • Before Midnight
      • The Bling Ring
      • Captain Phillips
      • Fruitvale Station
      • God Loves Uganda
      • The Great Beauty
      • Inside Llewyn Davis
      • The Patience Stone
      • The Wolf of Wall Street
      • You're Next
    • 3 Stars >
      • Ain't Them Bodies Saints
      • American Hustle
      • The Company You Keep
      • Dead Man Down
      • Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay
      • Don Jon
      • The East
      • Ender's Game
      • The Great Gatsby
      • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
      • The Invisible Woman
      • Iron Man 3
      • Labor Day
      • LUV
      • Man of Steel
      • No
      • Oblivion
      • Pacific Rim
      • The Place Beyond the Pines
      • Saving Mr. Banks
      • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
      • Side Effects
      • Star Trek Into Darkness
      • Thanks for Sharing
      • Thor: The Dark World
      • Tim's Vermeer
      • Upside Down
      • Warm Bodies
      • World War Z
      • The World's End
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Beautiful Creatures
      • Beyond the Hills
      • The Book Thief
      • Carrie
      • Emperor
      • Fast & Furious 6
      • Gloria
      • The Iceman
      • In a World...
      • Love Is All You Need
      • Mama
      • Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
      • Nebraska
      • Oldboy
      • Olympus Has Fallen
      • Prisoners
      • The Reluctant Fundamentalist
      • Rush
      • Snitch
      • This Is the End
      • Trance
    • 2 Stars >
      • Byzantium
      • The Counselor
      • Disconnect
      • G.I. Joe: Retaliation
      • Gangster Squad
      • Grudge Match
      • Jack the Giant Slayer
      • Machete Kills
      • Now You See Me
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Drinking Buddies
      • The Family
      • Girl Most Likely
      • Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
      • The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
      • The Lone Ranger
      • Parker
    • 1 Star >
      • The Hangover Part III
      • A Haunted House
      • John Dies at the End
      • The Last Stand
      • Oz the Great and Powerful
      • Spring Breakers
    • 0.5 Stars >
      • Escape from Tomorrow
      • Evil Dead
      • A Good Day to Die Hard
  • 2012 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Argo
      • Bernie
      • Cloud Atlas
      • Django Unchained
      • Lincoln
      • Take this Waltz
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 5 Broken Cameras
      • Amour
      • Arbitrage
      • Chronicle
      • Looper
      • Moonrise Kingdom
      • The Perks of Being a Wallflower
      • The Queen of Versailles
      • The Raid: Redemption
      • Skyfall
      • The Woman in the Fifth
    • 3 Stars >
      • Act of Valor
      • American Reunion
      • Anna Karenina
      • The Avengers
      • Beasts of the Southern Wild
      • Celeste & Jesse Forever
      • The Dark Knight Rises
      • Frankenweenie
      • Haywire
      • Hitchcock
      • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
      • The Master
      • Not Fade Away
      • Oslo, August 31st
      • The Other Dream Team
      • The Sessions
      • Seven Psychopaths
      • Silver Linings Playbook
      • Sleepwalk With Me
      • To Rome with Love
      • Your Sister's Sister
      • Zero Dark Thirty
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • The Amazing Spider-Man
      • Farewell, My Queen
      • The Hunger Games
      • The Oranges
      • Robot & Frank
      • Safe House
      • Safety Not Guaranteed
    • 2 Stars >
      • The Deep Blue Sea
      • Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
      • Taken 2
      • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • The Bourne Legacy
      • Damsels in Distress
      • Lockout
      • Underworld: Awakening
      • Wrath of the Titans
    • 1 Star >
      • 2 Days in New York
  • 2011 Films
    • 4 Stars >
      • Another Earth
      • The Artist
      • Hugo
      • Midnight in Paris
    • 3.5 Stars >
      • 50/50
      • The Devil's Double
      • Drive
      • The Hedgehog
      • The Help
      • The Ides of March
      • J. Edgar
      • The Mill and the Cross
      • My Afternoons with Margueritte
      • My Week with Marilyn
      • Mysteries of Lisbon
      • The Skin I Live In
      • Super 8
      • Young Adult
    • 3 Stars >
      • Albert Nobbs
      • Anonymous
      • Attack the Block
      • Bellflower
      • Circumstance
      • Colombiana
      • The Future
      • Happy, Happy
      • Incendies
      • Jane Eyre
      • Limitless
      • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
      • Moneyball
      • The Names of Love
      • Page One: Inside the New York Times
      • Pianomania
      • Queen to Play
      • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
      • Senna
      • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
      • Tower Heist
      • The Trip
      • Undefeated
      • A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
      • The Way
      • The Whistleblower
    • 2.5 Stars >
      • Captain America: The First Avenger
      • Conan O'Brien Can't Stop
      • Crazy, Stupid, Love
      • Griff the Invisible
      • The Guard
      • Hanna
      • The Interrupters
      • The Iron Lady
      • Killer Elite
      • Love Crime
      • The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby
      • Margin Call
      • The Tree of Life
      • The Turin Horse
    • 2 Stars >
      • Bad Teacher
      • Blackthorn
      • Cowboys & Aliens
      • The Debt
      • The Descendants
      • Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
      • The Double Hour
      • Higher Ground
      • Immortals
      • In Darkness
      • Shame
      • Take Shelter
    • 1.5 Stars >
      • Brighton Rock
      • Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
      • Martha Marcy May Marlene
      • One Day
      • Priest
      • Restless
    • 1 Star >
      • The Three Musketeers
      • Toast
      • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • Misc...
    • 2020 AFI DOCs Film Festival
    • 2020 Academy Award Best Documentary Short Films
    • 2019 Middleburg Film Festival
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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

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Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Written by: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Pihla Viitala, Derek Mears, Joanna Kulig, Peter Stormare, Thomas Mann, Rainer Bock
Action/Fantasy/Horror - 88 min

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The Brothers Grimm stories are aimed at children, but the original tales are far more gruesome than the Disneyfied, G-rated versions today's kids are more familiar with.  Consider Disney created adaptations of Cinderella, The Frog Prince, and Rapunzel, but has so far steered clear of Hansel and Gretel.  Disney's writers most likely continue to stumble over how to polish the story of an abusive stepmother forcing children out of the house to starve and a cannibalistic witch.

The 2013 live-action twist on Hansel and Gretel transforms their parent's motives on why they end up lost in the woods yet stays true to the original story of the witch living in a candy house and her inevitable demise in the oven courtesy of Gretel.  This only occupies the first few minutes though until a title appears declaring, "Many years later."  The children nourished their newfound witch-slaughtering skills and are now known as Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  It looks like the siblings (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton) are in their thirties and they are mercenaries for hire and have the arsenal to prove it.

The weaponry is out of place because the witches are more powerful than Hansel and Gretel.  They are stronger, faster, jet away on broomsticks, and deflect bullets with their hands.  No matter how many times Hansel and Gretel unload a shotgun or cross-bow at a witch, they never connect.  The fights always end up at hand-to-hand combat.  Perhaps they carry around the firepower to seem more imposing to impressionable villagers.  To show just how contemporary his take on Hansel and Gretel is, director/writer Tommy Wirkola and co-writer Dante Harper add a healthy dose of the f-word, use slang such as 'hillbilly', and oh yeah, the anachronistic firearms.

The small village of Augsburg, Germany has a witch problem.  The sheriff (Peter Stormare) is happy enough grabbing any lady off the street, staging a show trial, and burning her at the stake to appease the superstitious villagers.  The mayor (Rainer Bock), on the other hand, requires a bit more evidence of witchcraft and hires our witch hunters to ferret out the local coven.  The head witch, Muriel (Famke Janssen), has big plans of her own.  A once in a generation blood moon is approaching and if she and her fellow extremely ugly witches massacre 12 children, they will become immune to their greatest nemesis, fire.  

There is no sex in this fairy tale so it earns its R-rating with strong violence and gore.  Witches are destroyed every which way and if a human meets his end, its usually with a few pints of blood jettisoning out with sufficient velocity.  The blood spatter and violence is more campy than real though; it trends toward the cartoon end of the spectrum.  While it is billed as an action/horror genre film, it is really more of a black comedy with some frenetically edited action sequences juxtaposed with Hansel's interest in a local maiden and Gemma Arterton's leather pants.  

The only reason for anyone to label it horror is due to the witches' aesthetic.  These girls are hideous.  One has horns, there is an albino, a fat one, one with no legs, and they appear to have scales instead of skin.  Only Muriel has any true conversation skills as her sisters click and scream.  When they do speak, it sounds as if it is through an ounce of two of phlegm.  Hansel and Gretel's most effective attributes are the witches; they are the most original pieces in the film.  Compared to previous movie witches (Narnia's White Witch, the Witches of Eastwick, Hocus Pocus, Oz's Wicked Witch of the West, et al…), these ladies are bloody, violent, are formidable fighters, and are ready to chomp on a child at moment's notice.  

If the rest of Hansel and Gretel were as original and creative as the witches, it would be a much better movie.  Unfortunately, the script is stale, the plot is more than predictable, and as Famke Janssen even admitted, one gets the feeling the actors showed up here strictly for the paycheck and that's about it.
 

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