Grudge Match
Directed by: Peter Segal
Written by: Tim Kelleher, Rodney Rothman
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro, Kevin Hart, Alan Arkin, Kim Basinger, Jon Bernthal, LL Cool J
Comedy/Sport - 113 min
Written by: Tim Kelleher, Rodney Rothman
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro, Kevin Hart, Alan Arkin, Kim Basinger, Jon Bernthal, LL Cool J
Comedy/Sport - 113 min
Grudge Match resembles the state of the sport of boxing in 2013; it was better in the mid- to late-20th century. Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro have both starred in boxing films considered cinema classics. Brazenly, Grudge Match attempts to remind you of those superior films and make you think they were prequels. Echoes of Jake LaMotta and almost direct references to Rocky Balboa permeate Grudge Match and the rivalry between the two boxers. However, the last thing the original Rocky and Raging Bull need is a Last Vegas / Bucket List / Red ‘one last shot for the old geezers’ epilogue. Rocky 17, or whatever it is they are up to now in that series, has already covered this 'should be left undiscovered' territory.
Back in the ‘80s, Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp (Stallone) and Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen (De Niro) contended for the light heavyweight title as fierce rivals. They fought twice, each winning a bout, when Razor retired with no warning forever denying what would have been billed as one of the greatest grudge matches in history. Fast forward 30 years, Dante Slate, Jr. (Kevin Hart), oozing around town like Don King’s sleazy child, sees a chance to make some cash from two ancient boxers and organizes the boxing match decades in the making. The Kid is itching to get back in the ring but Razor only agrees to do it for the dough.
Are you picking up the similarities yet? Rocky, I mean Razor, is poor. He lives in a rough neighborhood and trains for the match in a junkyard with ‘Lightning’ Conlon (Alan Arkin), a comedic travesty representing Burgess Meredith’s Mickey. Apollo Creed, I mean The Kid, is financially well off, trains in a real gym, and is portrayed as quite the asshole. These guys are old, these guys are out of shape, and Kevin Hart is short; therefore, the majority of this ‘comedy’ is all age and height jokes. The script saddles Alan Arkin with most of the atrocious one-liners and hammers home over and over again that he is so old he can say whatever he wants.
The plot brings out a whole bunch of long buried family secrets including a son one of the characters didn’t know he had, an old flame, and the real reason Razor retired at his peak. None of this is too compelling, but these side stories give the filmmakers a chance to shock us with some very recognizable supporting actors including Kim Basinger and LL Cool J. Kim Basinger? They really do want to remind you of the 1980s something bad.
Director Peter Segal has directed effective comedies in the past (Tommy Boy, ‘95, Get Smart,’08) but Grudge Match will be filed right alongside such classics as My Fellow Americans (‘96), Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (’00), and The Longest Yard (’05) remake from Segal’s WTF category. Grudge Match makes a lot more sense when you look at lead writer Tim Kelleher’s resume, an episode of “Two and a Half Men”, First Kid starring Sinbad, and a TV movie called, “The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon”.
At least the writers were sly enough to move the setting all the way to Pittsburgh lest you confuse it with Rocky’s native Philadelphia. If you’re going to make a sports comedy out of a revived Rocky/Raging Bull hybrid, it should at least be funny. However, prepare yourself for lazy jokes about the word Bangkok and the TV show “Webster”. Grudge Match is an idea as tired as Stallone and De Niro look.
Back in the ‘80s, Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp (Stallone) and Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen (De Niro) contended for the light heavyweight title as fierce rivals. They fought twice, each winning a bout, when Razor retired with no warning forever denying what would have been billed as one of the greatest grudge matches in history. Fast forward 30 years, Dante Slate, Jr. (Kevin Hart), oozing around town like Don King’s sleazy child, sees a chance to make some cash from two ancient boxers and organizes the boxing match decades in the making. The Kid is itching to get back in the ring but Razor only agrees to do it for the dough.
Are you picking up the similarities yet? Rocky, I mean Razor, is poor. He lives in a rough neighborhood and trains for the match in a junkyard with ‘Lightning’ Conlon (Alan Arkin), a comedic travesty representing Burgess Meredith’s Mickey. Apollo Creed, I mean The Kid, is financially well off, trains in a real gym, and is portrayed as quite the asshole. These guys are old, these guys are out of shape, and Kevin Hart is short; therefore, the majority of this ‘comedy’ is all age and height jokes. The script saddles Alan Arkin with most of the atrocious one-liners and hammers home over and over again that he is so old he can say whatever he wants.
The plot brings out a whole bunch of long buried family secrets including a son one of the characters didn’t know he had, an old flame, and the real reason Razor retired at his peak. None of this is too compelling, but these side stories give the filmmakers a chance to shock us with some very recognizable supporting actors including Kim Basinger and LL Cool J. Kim Basinger? They really do want to remind you of the 1980s something bad.
Director Peter Segal has directed effective comedies in the past (Tommy Boy, ‘95, Get Smart,’08) but Grudge Match will be filed right alongside such classics as My Fellow Americans (‘96), Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (’00), and The Longest Yard (’05) remake from Segal’s WTF category. Grudge Match makes a lot more sense when you look at lead writer Tim Kelleher’s resume, an episode of “Two and a Half Men”, First Kid starring Sinbad, and a TV movie called, “The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon”.
At least the writers were sly enough to move the setting all the way to Pittsburgh lest you confuse it with Rocky’s native Philadelphia. If you’re going to make a sports comedy out of a revived Rocky/Raging Bull hybrid, it should at least be funny. However, prepare yourself for lazy jokes about the word Bangkok and the TV show “Webster”. Grudge Match is an idea as tired as Stallone and De Niro look.
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