Charlie's Angels
Directed by: Elizabeth Banks
Written by: Elizabeth Banks
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks, Patrick Stewart, Djimon Hounsou, Sam Claflin, Jonathan Tucker, Nat Faxon, Chris Pang, Luis Gerardo Méndez, Noah Centineo, David Schütter, Hannah Hoekstra
Action/Adventure/Comedy - 118 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 13 Nov 2019
Written by: Elizabeth Banks
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks, Patrick Stewart, Djimon Hounsou, Sam Claflin, Jonathan Tucker, Nat Faxon, Chris Pang, Luis Gerardo Méndez, Noah Centineo, David Schütter, Hannah Hoekstra
Action/Adventure/Comedy - 118 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 13 Nov 2019

The new Charlie’s Angels is Girl Power, but takes it seriously. The 2000 version of the feminine trio featuring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu was a farce. They giggled their way through whatever they pretended was the plot and even mocked themselves as girls playing kung fu badasses. They weren’t skewering any sort of genre nor were they making fun of the late ‘70s television show; they were making fun of themselves. Enter Elizabeth Banks to co-write and direct a script which says it’s ok for a pack of supermodel looking Angels to both kick ass and have brains. The new Charlie’s Angels is more than an update incorporating contemporary themes addressing #metoo and the hint of alternative lifestyles. It also feels like an apology tour. It's as if Banks and company come clean with, “We recognize what Hollywood did to the Angels a little under 20 years ago and we’re sorry, here’s what it should have been.”
The Angels enterprise grew into a global multinational corporation. There remains a Charlie on top, but there are now Bosleys aplenty and a pipeline of drop dead gorgeous philosophical ninja ladies. Even though she is a megastar, it was brave for Banks to cast Kristen Stewart as our lead angel, Sabina. Stewart earned a rock solid acting pedigree after the Twilight series in some heavy-lifting arthouse pieces; but lately, she is more known for tabloid tidbits and Page Six gossip. At first, it was tough to imagine the earnest actress from Clouds of Sils Maria and Personal Shopper as the woman to take over Cameron Diaz’s booty shaking routine. But, Stewart is awesome. Banks wrote her the best lines, Sabina is the comedienne of the group, and also the fiercest fighter.
The Angels enterprise grew into a global multinational corporation. There remains a Charlie on top, but there are now Bosleys aplenty and a pipeline of drop dead gorgeous philosophical ninja ladies. Even though she is a megastar, it was brave for Banks to cast Kristen Stewart as our lead angel, Sabina. Stewart earned a rock solid acting pedigree after the Twilight series in some heavy-lifting arthouse pieces; but lately, she is more known for tabloid tidbits and Page Six gossip. At first, it was tough to imagine the earnest actress from Clouds of Sils Maria and Personal Shopper as the woman to take over Cameron Diaz’s booty shaking routine. But, Stewart is awesome. Banks wrote her the best lines, Sabina is the comedienne of the group, and also the fiercest fighter.

The Lucy Liu replacement in the brains department is Ella Balinska as Jane. Flighty Sabina annoys Jane because sometimes situations require a serious outlook and a calm demeanor. Ella is former MI-6 and can spear a bad guy with her needle-edged, upper crust British accent as well as the pointy end of her high heel. Sabina and Jane are assigned to protect a whistleblower scientist who invented a widget which will produce clean energy and accidentally double as the perfect assassin’s weapon of choice. Naturally, the brilliant scientist, Elena (Naomi Scott, The 33), is also in the top 1% of the beauty pageant category and wants in on the Angel action when she gets a taste of the confident cat woman lifestyle.

Banks has never directed a film she didn’t want to cast herself in (Pitch Perfect 2); therefore, she takes over as the team’s Bosley acting as surrogate mother and exasperated administrator. A genre-breaking character pops up in the guise of Saint (Luis Gerardo Méndez). Saint operates an Angel safe house and is the epitome of what women imagine the perfect man to be. First, Saint is a trained chef with avocado toast and a spread of high-end cheeses at the ready. He is also a licensed psychotherapist, a certified chiropractor, and knows his way around the Angel closet matching accessories with skimpy, leather outfits. He is the perfect antidote to every male-dominated action film whose brooding hero is consoled by a combination den mother, lingerie model, and cocktail waitress.

The film starts with a montage of various girls doing all of the things. They can play any sport, jump out of any plane, inspect any bubbling beaker, and keep up with any man. No need for subtlety, Banks does not hide her message. However, the mood is not as serious as it sounds. The dialogue is standard Charlie’s Angels clunky when Elena the scientist tries to describe the problem with her creation: “All I need is root access to fix the blockchain!” Her Elon Musk boss is a bit too in the clouds proclaiming, “We can bring clean energy to everybody sustainably!” Would it be possible to squeeze in any more 2019 buzzwords than those? Banks also peppers the script with a running list of lines women must hate the most, such as, “Don’t forget to smile,” and “Girls shouldn’t drywall.”

The new Angels sets up a communal experience for their intended audience - they want the ladies to descend upon a multiplex on a Saturday night in leather, impractical footwear, a hidden bottle of rosé, and a matching attitude. Banks takes an epic departure away from the earlier film’s director, McG. She respects these women rather than pokes at them. Even though the film’s look is as glossy as can be with rotating exotic locales like Rio, Hamburg, and Istanbul, I never felt like the ‘woman in control’ mantra was ever perfunctory or only along for the ride. We believe Sabina can be the alpha dog in any room. However, remember all of this is based on a TV serial and none of it is to be taken with more than a grain of salt. There are plot holes aplenty, a villain’s plan which doesn’t even begin to add up, and enough dialogue cheese to make Saint’s artisanal charcuterie look like your Kindergartner’s favorite Kraft single on a baloney sandwich. Hopefully, these will be the Angels new fans think of first before that earlier Angel mess from the turn of the millennium.
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