Ben-Hur
Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov
Written by: Keith R. Clarke & John Ridley - Based on the book by Lew Wallace
Starring: Jack Huston, Toby Kebbell, Rodrigo Santoro, Nazanin Boniadi, Ayelet Zurer, Pilou Asbæk, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Morgan Freeman, Marwan Kenzari, Moises Arias, Haluk Bilginer, David Walmsley
Adventure/Drama - 124 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 17 Aug 2016
Written by: Keith R. Clarke & John Ridley - Based on the book by Lew Wallace
Starring: Jack Huston, Toby Kebbell, Rodrigo Santoro, Nazanin Boniadi, Ayelet Zurer, Pilou Asbæk, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Morgan Freeman, Marwan Kenzari, Moises Arias, Haluk Bilginer, David Walmsley
Adventure/Drama - 124 min Reviewed by Charlie Juhl on 17 Aug 2016

Director Timur Bakmambetov said his initial reaction was “absolutely not.” Oscar-winning writer John Ridley said, “The most ardent fans…might find it blasphemous to revisit it in any form…” Then, for God’s sake, why did Paramount and MGM opt to remake Ben-Hur? Did anyone you know ever raise the idea of remaking the 1959 Biblical epic and winner of 11 Oscars? No, they did not; because it’s an awful idea and even worse in execution. There have been other adaptations of the original 1880 novel by Lew Wallace, Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ, including the 1925 silent version, and even a 2003 animated film. However, there is no need for a CG-infused, Roma Downey executive produced, re-hack. New technology does not make a mind-blowing chariot race, the Romans still looks like Romans, Jerusalem looks like a small Italian village, and the entire enterprise is a lesson in incredulity.
You know you’re watching a poorly produced action film set in the long, long ago when all of the actors speak with different accents. Ben-Hur has American, British, fake British, and what sounds like Persian-American. One of the worst films in the last decade, The Legend of Hercules, had the same anomaly. What is also inexplicable is why the studios maintain the new Ben-Hur is nothing like the one you remember in ‘an everything is fresh and in 3D’ bravado. Bullshit! The new Ben-Hur is a two-hour version of the almost four-hour film you remember. Just about everything is the same except Morgan Freeman gets an expanded role as the chariot owner.
You know you’re watching a poorly produced action film set in the long, long ago when all of the actors speak with different accents. Ben-Hur has American, British, fake British, and what sounds like Persian-American. One of the worst films in the last decade, The Legend of Hercules, had the same anomaly. What is also inexplicable is why the studios maintain the new Ben-Hur is nothing like the one you remember in ‘an everything is fresh and in 3D’ bravado. Bullshit! The new Ben-Hur is a two-hour version of the almost four-hour film you remember. Just about everything is the same except Morgan Freeman gets an expanded role as the chariot owner.

Even though your teenagers have never heard of an old film named Ben-Hur that pops up on basic cable a couple times a year, they will not be thrilled with the updated spectacle designed to entice them into theaters to figure out why their grandparents are griping about the remake. The too familiar story about brothers torn apart by hate and saved only by love, forgiveness, and about two dozen dead horses in a chariot massacre will not pull the new generation away from what they really want, Sausage Party and dour superhero blockbusters.

Let’s talk about the updates. Filmmakers have had around 55 years to dream up ways to advance Ben-Hur so let’s explore what they did with all that time in between. Director of Photography Oliver Wood, most famous for the first Jason Bourne trilogy and maybe Face/Off, went digital to give us super in-your-face shots of chariot drivers and galley slaves. There is even Go-Pro work so we can experience 3D chariots thunder over our heads just like in NASCAR. You can see all of these whiz-bang gimmicks any Friday of the week in whatever new film hits theaters, but I will give Oliver Wood one head nod. His shot of a Greek vessel ramming Judah Ben-Hur’s Roman ship is perhaps the most memorable shot in the film because of the random Roman soldier strapped to the bow of the ship Mad Max style whose blood spurts all over the screen. There was a collective “oooh” in the audience when that happened.

By far, the most striking visual sequence in the movie is the naval battle. This should not be the case in a film centered and advertised entirely around a chariot race. Look at the movie poster; there are Judah (Jack Huston, American Hustle) and Messala Severus (Toby Kebbell, Warcraft) looking like they are on a roller coaster ride. Look at the previews, Morgan Freeman (Now You See Me 2) as Ilderim, looking like George Clinton from P-Funk All Stars, says Judah’s most effective revenge will come in the Roman Circus arena on chariots. Nope. The naval clash not only incorporates the unnecessary 3D the best, but it’s simply the more intriguing scene. Anyone who cares for horses will also prefer the aquatic setting. Unlike the 1959 film, which used concealed wires to deliberately trip real horses leading to dozens of equine deaths, Bekmambetov uses 2016 computer generated editing techniques to invent all new ways to slaughter horses on the track.

Ok Debbie Downer you say, what about Jerusalem? Surely the new version looks amazing and nails it in the crucifixion scene, pardon the pun. I’ve never been to Jerusalem, but I’ve seen the news. Where are all the near vertical rocky hillsides with palaces dug into the sides? Where is the enormous ravine overlooking forested hillsides? It is more than obvious Ben-Hur is filmed in southern Italy, and that’s fine, but if anyone involved in the filmmaking mentions the authenticity and research, they should be laughed out of the room. As for the crucifixion, Risen already did that earlier this year in a much more realistic method; Bekmambetov films his version in a more idealized fashion; think Son of God, another Roma Downey secretion.

Costumes? Costume Designer Varya Avdysuhko, who works with Bekmambetov on all his films including Wanted (2008) and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), said, “we used little tricks to make them slightly more contemporary.” I agree. I didn’t know first century seamstresses were able to create such perfect and visible sewing machine stitching. I know this reads angry and bitter, and if you sit through Ben-Hur too, those are two feelings you will come to know very well. Viewer beware.
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